Just a thought: It is so much less busy now than it used to be here.

[AnnieO]

I've been around for a while, though I take lengthy breaks. Y'all probably remember StepTo2, which was my first name before Belle (aka Onyxx) found the board and went off. Well, she's grown up a LOT in the last 3 years.

I've been here since 2009... I came because I found it looking for help with Belle's issues. And I learned A LOT about keeping myself healthy. I made a lot of great friends who I still speak with off the board - TeDo, MstangChic, Flutterby, Hound Dog/DaisyLover, Shari, Buddy, Going North, Midwest Mom, Mattsmom, Abbey... And others. Starbie... I miss her, too. She's had a lot of awful things happen. And klmno, the tragedy there, DDD... But with Belle leaving, most of the issues I have run into just aren't as well-represented. When Failure to Thrive started... Well, I'd come back due to Pat's problems.

I'll be honest as to why I'm not as comfortable as I used to be, posting here. One old-timer who everyone loved dearly had major boundary issues, and a lot of confidential information was let loose. Not just mine. Many of the people I mentioned above had the same issue. I've not seen her post in a very long time, so I'm cautiously posting more... And then, as I mentioned, the Pat issues were pretty calm for a while.

But I still adore y'all.

 

[BusynMember]

I would like the word limit that our uk friend suggests. I, for one, need that and I feel my going on and on can seem dominating. So go for it, if that is on the table.

 

[Copabanana]

Some of us still felt free to chime in a bit on FOO

Thank you, Insane. I think that rather than a clique it was a question of investment and work. There had been such a huge investment of self. Others may not have chosen to make that kind of investment and self-disclosure. I think that is a personal choice.

 

[InsaneCdn]

I would like the word limit that our uk friend suggests. I, for one, need that and I feel my going on and on can seem dominating. So go for it, if that is on the table.

Especially on the Parent Support Forums.

Places like the Watercooler, it probably isn't so important. But if the limit is easier to implement on a global basis that would be fine also.

 

[Copabanana]

I, for one, need that and I feel my going on and on can seem dominating

I see it as personal responsibility to self-monitor. That is why this current thread is so helpful, so useful. We need to hear each other and to respond by monitoring ourselves, after seeing how others feel and have felt.

 

[BusynMember]

But we arrnt doing good self monitoring...lol. I do think those of us who give long answers most of the time (me included for sure) can seem as if we are dominating the responses and may be scaring others from responding.

I dont think the first post of any thread should be restricted...that is their story. But the responses from me and some have been really long. Kind of dwarfs the other responses.

Do any of us really need more than two or three paragraphs to reply? Im wondering if less verbal posters are scared off. Then again maybe im way off (shrug). Dont want to make something out of nothing.

 

[Copabanana]

I made a lot of great friends who I still speak with off the board - TeDo, MstangChic, Flutterby, Hound Dog/DaisyLover, Shari, Buddy, Going North, Midwest Mom, Mattsmom, Abbey... And others. Starbie

I would love to read the old threads. Are they archived somewhere? Is there access? Can we ask for it?

The history of the place. So much wisdom. And caring. So much pain.

 

[AppleCori]

This is just my opinion--

I don't see a problem with long posts, myself.

I don't often read them, unless they are on a thread that I started, but since I appreciate all the different opinions when they are writing to me, I assume that many others who post also appreciate all the time and effort the responder puts into a reply.

I don't see it as dominating. I see it as people who care enough about someone's plight to take time out of their day to put a lot of thought, time, and effort into a reply. I personally would rather see lots of replies to all the posts, some short and some long, the more the better.

Apple

 

[FlowerGarden]

Somewhere Out There,
the "20" I meant was that we only had 1 or 2 kindergarten children in our childcare program a few years ago and now we have 20 that age. More families have two parents working when their children are young than they did before, at least in my area. We have several difficult children in our care. They get mad and bang their fists on tables, kick chairs or overturn them, one has repeatedly banged his head on the desk, yell at us, scream at the top of their lungs, 2 have hit an adult, one said he wanted to bring a gun in and shoot everyone, and more. All of that from children in K through 2nd grade. One parent actually told us that she leaves her son with us as long as possible because she doesn't want to put up with his "nonsense" (as she calls it).

I've also had a parent drop a child off while she was having an asthma attack but lead me to believe it was just a cold. It wasn't until the child continued to cough after mom left that I realized it was asthma. Mom just said she gave her medicine for her cough. Well the medicine turned out to be asthma medication. She knew her daughter was suffering and wouldn't even go in to work late to make sure her child was ok. Very sad.

So yes, unfortunately, some people do not want to deal with their difficult children.

 

[BusynMember]

Midwest mom was me. I miss my other name and all the folks you mentioned, Annie.

 

[FlowerGarden]

Runaway Bunny,
Thank you so much for providing this site for us! It has helped me tremendously.

 

[BusynMember]

Flower, when I was a young mom, 40 years ago almost all the mothers in my area worked, which meant child care workers spent more time with them than the parents did as infants and toddlers. My kids never saw a daycare, none of them, so my house became the go to house for latch key kids once school started for the peers of my kids.

I was like the neighborhood mom and felt like very few of their parents, whether they had difficult kids or easy kids, really raised their kids or care what they did, as long as it didnt affect them. They, to me, put a higher value on working than being with their kids. Some had to work. Many just wanted to. I felt the kids were desperste for motherly attention.

So I get it.

Most are in their 30s now and I am fb friends with a majority. Although most barely saw their parents, almost all, with two exceptions, launched well, have good jobs, kids, etc. It is nice being able to see how they turned out.

One drank and drove, got into a car accident,and did jail time. Two people died, including his girlfriend. The other never quit drugs and is pretty much doing very poorly. The lone exceptions.

I worked ar head start more recently. Many people sent their sick kids to school. Many parents...they just are not into even their well behaved kids. And, yes, it is very sad.

 

[RN0441]

I remember when I first got a long post from some of you when I first joined this board I was DEEPLY touched that someone had taken the time out of their busy day to help ME - ME a total stranger!!

I applaud those that do that. I also know that I've read long replies to others posts that have helped me. Some of the information does apply and some does not.

Also when they mention THEIR situation in comparison to what I've posted - great. That makes you feel that you are not alone and that they "get it" too. Isn't that what we are looking for because we don't know a soul that is dealing with what we're dealing with....

I think we are all capable of skimming over things that don't apply or aren't interesting to us but I'd hate to see those long and thoughtful posts be nipped. JMO...

 

[BusynMember]

Apparently I cant do a short post anyway...lol.

 

[FlowerGarden]

Somewhere Out There,
It was wonderful of you to be there for those children. Sounds like they treasured their time with you that they are fb friends with you.
I never realized that you were Midwest Mom before. You and many of the names mentioned are the ones that were here when I first found this site. All of you steered me in the right direction in how to deal with my son and all that goes with having a Difficult Child.

 

[FlowerGarden]

Long posts or short posts....I would rather have all the info instead of something being left out. Many dealings with our difficult children take longer to explain.

 

[Copabanana]

Long posts or short posts....I would rather have all the info

Yes. Keeping in mind the kindness and safety that is the backbone of the site.

 

[Californiablonde]

I guess some of the commentary struck a chord with me SWOT and I said to myself, Omg, that's me, long winded and quirky. I think some people might read my stuff and say geez, what the heck is that all about.
I do go off into tangents and poems and rambling. I am still working through all of this, some very deep feelings and my heart is on my sleeve at times. You know the ups and downs of it all. Today is kind of down day for me. Anyways, I do think this forum has tremendous value and would hate to think that me being me could prevent someone from joining.
I would be deeply saddened.
Thank you for the discussion. I like your "novels" and think you have very valuable information to share across the board.

I hope that the challenges with your precious granddaughter are resolved and am sorry your daughter did not want to post here.
Wishing you a restful sleep and peaceful dreams,
(((hugs)))
leafy

New Leaf I happen to really like your posts and comments on my posts. At least I can say you have really helped me. Please, by all means, post away!

 

[BusynMember]

I doubt I can do short posts anyway (sigh)

 

[Californiablonde]

I