Let it all hang out! Tell your most useless psychiatrist advice!
- Thread starter BusynMember
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lizzie09
lizzie
It seems to me that NO doctor especially in the psychiatric field bother to read your notes before you arrive in and then in front of the patient you have to start at the beginning always!!
It was my experience too that anybody is to lame for the behaviour except the child.
WhenI tried to access help one of the first times for my son unsuccessfully_the doctor in the psychiatric facilty blamed my other son whos just a year younger than the patient for annoying him in some form and thus causing the extraordinary behaviour.. this poor lad was with me trying to assist me!.I then was told to go home and I had to get back into car with the patient and the supposed guilty brother and drive home despite my protests....still brings shivers up my spine. I waited two more years to eventually get help else where..appalling. No one wanted to know.
why would we make it all up and be so traumatised?
I have to say It takes for ONE of them to have a similar problem and they would know all about it and soon shut up
It was my experience too that anybody is to lame for the behaviour except the child.
WhenI tried to access help one of the first times for my son unsuccessfully_the doctor in the psychiatric facilty blamed my other son whos just a year younger than the patient for annoying him in some form and thus causing the extraordinary behaviour.. this poor lad was with me trying to assist me!.I then was told to go home and I had to get back into car with the patient and the supposed guilty brother and drive home despite my protests....still brings shivers up my spine. I waited two more years to eventually get help else where..appalling. No one wanted to know.
why would we make it all up and be so traumatised?
I have to say It takes for ONE of them to have a similar problem and they would know all about it and soon shut up
'Chelle
Active Member
These stories are both funny (actually LOL at "drink the whole bottle") and sad at the same time. That we're trying to get some help for our kids and get these useless comments.
I've come to realize what a great therapist and psychiatrist we had for our difficult child. The stupid comments I got always came from teachers/principals. The one that seemed the most illogical to me was when difficult child was in grade 1, the teachers told me "you need to socialize difficult child more" to go on with "we've had to keep difficult child in for recess/lunch almost every day as he's not doing the work". mmmmmmm OK, and the biggest opportunity for socialization in a kid's day is school recess and after lunch before the afternoon classes, and yet he's not given those opportunities because he wouldn't color his sheet? And our other attempts at getting difficult child with kids ended badly with him refusing to participate or interact with any other kids. (the meltdown at softball was a good one). And to this day, difficult child has NEVER colored a complete picture anywhere, he hated coloring except to watch me do it and sharpening the pencil crayons for me in our electric sharpener. LOL
I've come to realize what a great therapist and psychiatrist we had for our difficult child. The stupid comments I got always came from teachers/principals. The one that seemed the most illogical to me was when difficult child was in grade 1, the teachers told me "you need to socialize difficult child more" to go on with "we've had to keep difficult child in for recess/lunch almost every day as he's not doing the work". mmmmmmm OK, and the biggest opportunity for socialization in a kid's day is school recess and after lunch before the afternoon classes, and yet he's not given those opportunities because he wouldn't color his sheet? And our other attempts at getting difficult child with kids ended badly with him refusing to participate or interact with any other kids. (the meltdown at softball was a good one). And to this day, difficult child has NEVER colored a complete picture anywhere, he hated coloring except to watch me do it and sharpening the pencil crayons for me in our electric sharpener. LOL
wethreepeeps
New Member
The social worker who told me that as a caucasian, I simple didn't have what it took to raise a black male, that they weren't like white boys, they didn't listen to anyone and you had to break them to earn their respect, and what difficult child didn't stand a chance if I didn't get over my "fear" of corporal punishment.
The respite worker who told me I shouldn't let an adopted child ruin my "real" daughter's life, and I should have him put away
The well respected psychiatrist who told me "you must get this child out of your home in the next few years. As soon as he gets big enough to physically overpower you, he's going to kill you. It's very sad to ever give up a child as hopeless, but there are some children so broken they simply cannot be helped." difficult child was seven at the time.
easy child daughter has a terminal medical condition. I can't list the people who have said I should give up difficult child so he doesn't ruin the last years of her life.
The respite worker who told me I shouldn't let an adopted child ruin my "real" daughter's life, and I should have him put away
The well respected psychiatrist who told me "you must get this child out of your home in the next few years. As soon as he gets big enough to physically overpower you, he's going to kill you. It's very sad to ever give up a child as hopeless, but there are some children so broken they simply cannot be helped." difficult child was seven at the time.
easy child daughter has a terminal medical condition. I can't list the people who have said I should give up difficult child so he doesn't ruin the last years of her life.
difficult child home from first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) after 3 years there, age 12. I can't believe I actually interviewed this therapist before I took him and missed that she was a complete nutcase.
"Oral sex is a normal behavior in 12 year olds. Relax."
"He should be allowed to leave the house unsupervised and he shouldn't have to tell you where he's going." (He'd been home a whopping 6 weeks at that point).
"You and husband are annihilators of joy." That is a verbatim quote - in response to difficult child's meltdown when we refused to allow him to open a Christmas present addressed to the family - it was November.
When I fired her and got a new therapist, she threatened to call DCFS on us because we weren't getting "appropriate treatment" for him. I told her to have at it - and if DCFS showed up on my doorstep, I'd be filing malpractice charges with the state board against *her*.
We've been lucky with- psychiatrists. Worst comment was when he went ballistic on Ritalin, psychiatrist's comment was "well, that pretty much confirms the bipolar". Gee - ya think?
"Oral sex is a normal behavior in 12 year olds. Relax."
"He should be allowed to leave the house unsupervised and he shouldn't have to tell you where he's going." (He'd been home a whopping 6 weeks at that point).
"You and husband are annihilators of joy." That is a verbatim quote - in response to difficult child's meltdown when we refused to allow him to open a Christmas present addressed to the family - it was November.
When I fired her and got a new therapist, she threatened to call DCFS on us because we weren't getting "appropriate treatment" for him. I told her to have at it - and if DCFS showed up on my doorstep, I'd be filing malpractice charges with the state board against *her*.
We've been lucky with- psychiatrists. Worst comment was when he went ballistic on Ritalin, psychiatrist's comment was "well, that pretty much confirms the bipolar". Gee - ya think?
Lothlorien
Well-Known Member
I got this from a neurodevelopmental psychiatrist....(three weeks after Missy completely went ballistic and tore her room apart at THREE!!! There were several holes in the wall and broken furniture.)
psychiatrist..She's just having normal three year old temper tantrums and you just have to learn to deal with it. Stop looking for something to be wrong. She's perfectly normal.
I might add, that I see a totally different doctor in the same facility now. He's placed her on Risperdal. I've given them dvds showing the aftermath after one of her now 8 year old temper tantrums.
psychiatrist..She's just having normal three year old temper tantrums and you just have to learn to deal with it. Stop looking for something to be wrong. She's perfectly normal.
I might add, that I see a totally different doctor in the same facility now. He's placed her on Risperdal. I've given them dvds showing the aftermath after one of her now 8 year old temper tantrums.
While N* was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), she was playing football, and injured her knee. She was taken to the local quack dr. who did an x-ray, saw nothing, and told Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to give her Tylenol for any pain. No phone call to me to report injury. The following day, I was there for a counselling session, and noticed she was now limping and her knee had swollen up. I asked the 23 year old staff person in charge (expert) what happened - oh I think she's fine - some kids really play it up if they get a little hurt.
I called her case manager the next morning, told him I'd made an appointment for N* at an orthopedic clinic, and I was picking her up at 10:30. He was smart enough not to get in my way - Residential Treatment Center (RTC) failed to notify me of injury.
When I picked N* up, 23 year old expert told me I could not buy anything for N* to eat for lunch (McDonalds) - it was against the rules. I told 23 year old expert that I was 40 something, and if while in the course of the next several hours, while seeking medical attention, MY CHILD became hungry, I would feed my child. Since my car didn't have a kitchen in it, I may just stop for a sandwich somewhere, and if it would make 23 year old expert feel any better, I'd try not to enjoy it. By the way - N* tore her ACL. Another 1/2 inch and she would have had surgery. Ortho doctor put her in a leg brace and on crutches for 4 weeks. Argh!
I called her case manager the next morning, told him I'd made an appointment for N* at an orthopedic clinic, and I was picking her up at 10:30. He was smart enough not to get in my way - Residential Treatment Center (RTC) failed to notify me of injury.
When I picked N* up, 23 year old expert told me I could not buy anything for N* to eat for lunch (McDonalds) - it was against the rules. I told 23 year old expert that I was 40 something, and if while in the course of the next several hours, while seeking medical attention, MY CHILD became hungry, I would feed my child. Since my car didn't have a kitchen in it, I may just stop for a sandwich somewhere, and if it would make 23 year old expert feel any better, I'd try not to enjoy it. By the way - N* tore her ACL. Another 1/2 inch and she would have had surgery. Ortho doctor put her in a leg brace and on crutches for 4 weeks. Argh!
mstang67chic
Going Green
I don't really have any "advice" stories to share. If I received any I've probably blocked it out. However, when we first got difficult child from foster care, we were required to keep him with his then current doctor for a period of time to help ease the transition. Distance wise it was inconvenient (almost 2 hours one way) but it did make sense.
When difficult child first came to live with us, one of the problems I was having with him involved the bathroom. He wasn't necessarily peeing all over the bathroom, but it looked like he was doing bank shots off the inside of the lid which resulted in a lovely mess. After saying something to him once or twice, I realized that talking wasn't going to solve squat so every time he did it, I handed him cleaner and the appropriate gear, pointed at the bathroom and told him to have at it. When I relayed this to the doctor, he all but patted me on the head like an obedient 4 year old. OMG...the tone of his voice when he said "What a GOOD idea"! You would have thought he was complimenting a small child for solving a jr. high math problem. Granted, difficult child was our first (and only to this day) child but c'mon! I was 29 years old and reasonably intelligent. difficult child makes a mess = difficult child cleans it up. (Especially when it involves difficult child's own body fluids!) Common sense. I think I was more glad to get away from this "brilliant" doctor more than I was to not have to do the drive anymore.
When difficult child first came to live with us, one of the problems I was having with him involved the bathroom. He wasn't necessarily peeing all over the bathroom, but it looked like he was doing bank shots off the inside of the lid which resulted in a lovely mess. After saying something to him once or twice, I realized that talking wasn't going to solve squat so every time he did it, I handed him cleaner and the appropriate gear, pointed at the bathroom and told him to have at it. When I relayed this to the doctor, he all but patted me on the head like an obedient 4 year old. OMG...the tone of his voice when he said "What a GOOD idea"! You would have thought he was complimenting a small child for solving a jr. high math problem. Granted, difficult child was our first (and only to this day) child but c'mon! I was 29 years old and reasonably intelligent. difficult child makes a mess = difficult child cleans it up. (Especially when it involves difficult child's own body fluids!) Common sense. I think I was more glad to get away from this "brilliant" doctor more than I was to not have to do the drive anymore.
That reminds me of Homer Simpson sitting in parenting class taking notes:
"Ooooo, garbage in garbage can--that makes sense!!"
--DaisyF
W
Wonderful Family
Guest
Do you think we should all just start our own counseling group?
Well, we couldn't do any worse than the "professionals".
But then again, isn't that what this is?--our own "counseling group"?
We are just not charging an exhorbitant hourly rate....
--DaisyF
Steely
Active Member
Oh yes...........my other favorite. In fact probably my all time favorite. (sarcasm of course)
I am discharging difficult child from phosph @6am and putting him on a plane to UT to stay for 6 months at a wilderness program.
I ask the nurse where his bottles of medications were.
"What medications," she asked?
"The medications he came into YOUR hospital on!!!" I replied, or rather, perhaps, yelled.
"We have no paperwork to show he is on anything but Lithium."
"What about the Lamictal and Paxil?" I asked.
"Nope, he was never on those."
The %&*@ dr had accidentally discontinued his medications by never doing the paperwork.
My heart fell into my shoes.
I had to get difficult child onto a plane thinking~
"Good luck kiddo with that medication wash in the middle of nowhere UT. Love ya".
I am discharging difficult child from phosph @6am and putting him on a plane to UT to stay for 6 months at a wilderness program.
I ask the nurse where his bottles of medications were.
"What medications," she asked?
"The medications he came into YOUR hospital on!!!" I replied, or rather, perhaps, yelled.
"We have no paperwork to show he is on anything but Lithium."
"What about the Lamictal and Paxil?" I asked.
"Nope, he was never on those."
The %&*@ dr had accidentally discontinued his medications by never doing the paperwork.
My heart fell into my shoes.
I had to get difficult child onto a plane thinking~
"Good luck kiddo with that medication wash in the middle of nowhere UT. Love ya".
JJJ
Active Member
Steely - Kanga had a similar medication wash. She was hospitalized over Christmas and there were a lot of sub staff and they didn't know what to give her so they gave her nothing. Child lost what was left of her mind - didn't even recognize Grandma, gotta love those accidental medication washes.
