Nature
Active Member
For over 15 years I've dealt with my son's addictions that my own brain has been in a fog. Suffering from PTSD for his past behaviours and fearing for my own safety from my child was heart wrenching.The constant worry and lack of sleep deeply affected me and the stress plays havoc on one's body. For me, it means lack of sleep and days without eating.
I wrote on another post that he is slowly emerging from his past addiction and thus it's is changing me as well. I had gone on stress leave in May with my job and only returned to work this past Tues.
I reread post and listen to my own advice I gave others. After two weeks of working my son was fired from his job. This happened to the child of another poster and I had to re-read my advice to her and I saw that sometimes we're often too caught up in our own emotions to think rationally and it's the advice of others that give us more clarity. When my son called me with the news I could hear the dread in his voice as if he expected me to be upset and while disappointed I did not give him advice as I did in the past - instead I let him carry on and work it out himself as to what steps he would do next.
Ironically,2 days later he became very ill again and was hospitalized (not drugs but his sepsis returned). He's back to an out patient clinic getting daily IV treatment for the next several weeks. I'm glad I didn't get into a long discussion with him as a result of being fired. Just listened. The reason for his firing was he took several long breaks, moved slowly on the job and seemed unable to complete the work. Ironically,the previous day his supervisor approached my car when I went to pick him up and told me what a wonderful employee my son was. What changed in that 1 day? Different supervisor at different job site but OMG what a difference in one day? I feared drugs may be involved but decided in our conversation not to even bring that up...again I just listened and left my judgement out of the conversation.
A few nights later he had to be rushed to the hospital as his sepsis had returned .I am so glad I didn't accuse him of falling back into his addiction and our conversations turning accusatory and ending badly.
I felt ready to return to work and even decided after 20 years to change my place of employment. Same job title, different school with less hours and cutting my commute to only mins a day. Learning to care for myself again and ease my stress load. Learning to heed my own advice to others.
I wrote on another post that he is slowly emerging from his past addiction and thus it's is changing me as well. I had gone on stress leave in May with my job and only returned to work this past Tues.
I reread post and listen to my own advice I gave others. After two weeks of working my son was fired from his job. This happened to the child of another poster and I had to re-read my advice to her and I saw that sometimes we're often too caught up in our own emotions to think rationally and it's the advice of others that give us more clarity. When my son called me with the news I could hear the dread in his voice as if he expected me to be upset and while disappointed I did not give him advice as I did in the past - instead I let him carry on and work it out himself as to what steps he would do next.
Ironically,2 days later he became very ill again and was hospitalized (not drugs but his sepsis returned). He's back to an out patient clinic getting daily IV treatment for the next several weeks. I'm glad I didn't get into a long discussion with him as a result of being fired. Just listened. The reason for his firing was he took several long breaks, moved slowly on the job and seemed unable to complete the work. Ironically,the previous day his supervisor approached my car when I went to pick him up and told me what a wonderful employee my son was. What changed in that 1 day? Different supervisor at different job site but OMG what a difference in one day? I feared drugs may be involved but decided in our conversation not to even bring that up...again I just listened and left my judgement out of the conversation.
A few nights later he had to be rushed to the hospital as his sepsis had returned .I am so glad I didn't accuse him of falling back into his addiction and our conversations turning accusatory and ending badly.
I felt ready to return to work and even decided after 20 years to change my place of employment. Same job title, different school with less hours and cutting my commute to only mins a day. Learning to care for myself again and ease my stress load. Learning to heed my own advice to others.