Hi there. Often for us, myself included, we find it very hard to make a better life for us while our child will not. I have.no idea how anyone does it without a strong support system.
For me at my worst, and when my husband was ready to leave me over my inability to stop "helpng" our deliberately abusive and unwilling to live within society's rules daughter, I stood to lose everything. All I did was ring my hands, forgetting the blessing of a great man and two other children who were doing well. Kay zapped all my energy and she still did awful things to us and would not help herself either, not even with our willingness to lead her to the water. She is still homeless but I am not sure this bothers her or Lee, her husband. They Like not living the normal way and get government supplements and live in an.old motorhome. They CAN apply for Housing when the motorhome is uninhabitable. I don't know if they will. They refuse to follow rules. Apartments require rules.
They choose this lifestyle. I am appalled but Kay told her cousin she won't join :the ratrace."
Nar Anon and therapy both saved my sanity. No exaggeration. Took me ten years to seek support, but it worked. I learned so much and had great people around me and they understood.
I will never try to control another person again because I learned that I cant...it is impossible. I can only change me. I am the only person' whose life I can improve, And I did it. Yes, it is possible. Just please don't wait for ten years like me. Don't give up everything in your world, nor your other lived ones including YOU, for your deliberately crazymaking adult child. I had to apologize to my family for neglecting them. Now we are strong and close. Kay is not here...she is in charge of her destiny. I don't try to see what she is doing...it is better for me not to know and knowing will not help her one.bit. I blocked her social media and phone number for my sake. I had to. She can always call our business if it's an emergency but she can't torture us day and night.
I leave you with this awesome prayer.
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things i can mot change
The Courage to change the things I can
And the Wisdom to know the difference
Sending love