Sweet Betsy-Update and Heartbreak

[Hound dog]

(((hugs)))

Julie you're doing the only thing you can do. So you've got to quit beating yourself up. I know it hurts horribly to watch her self destruct. You keep telling her you love her, that she is worth more than the life she's living, that there is help when she is ready. Hopefully one day soon she will listen, really listen to what you're saying.

My best friend who's like a little sis to me......is hell-bent on self-destruction. Nothing anyone says makes a difference. Nothing that happens to her makes a difference. And she has gone so much lower than your difficult child. She is finally clean and sober, but not because she wants to be. I think she's been clean about 8 wks. But the self destructive behavior hasn't ended, only the drug use. Because like you said, she refuses to address the issues that led to it in the first place.

I pray for my friend every night. And sweet Betsy will also be in my prayers.

But you keep telling her you love her and that she deserves better. Cuz sometimes when you sink so very low you convince yourself there is no way back up to the light again.

((((hugs))))

 

[susiestar]

So sorry that this has happened. I pray that 2010 is the year she finds her own personal bottom and starts to fight her way back from that land of misery.

I am so sorry that you had to see her like that, to see what someone did to your precious child. I am sure your mommy heart was broken and enraged. How DARE someone treat another person like that? Esp one so clearly unable to protect herself.

I pray for her every night, for your family. She is so lucky to have a mother who still calls her Sweet Betsey.

 

[MrsMcNear50]

Thanks to all of you for your words or support and wisdom. I take each and every post to heart.

I've stayed away from Sweet Bets the last 4 days. I wanted to give her time to think. She called yesterday, was feeling somewhat better and has secured a place to live with friends. Found out one of her girlfriends beat her up...some friend huh? She was back to the same ole attitue. Just need to learn to drink in moderation.

easy child and I were talking last nite. Betsy has done a ton of drugs, but never has been addicted to any. She tried cocaine a couple of times, didn't like the way it made her feel, so didn't do it again. Same with a variety of other drugs. Hoping she'll feel the same about alcohol.

I will be looking for an Al-Anon group tomorrow. I do really need the support. Things are calm now, but I doubt they will stay that way for very long. They never do.

I've spent the last few days cuddled up on the couch. Needed the rest and am back on my game. Been spending lots of time with easy child, who is the best. She doesn't suffer from any of the issues Sweet Betsy does and for that I am greatful.

Thanks again for being there for me. You guys are the best.

Love and Blessings,

Julie

 

[Nomad]

Hi Julie,
So good to hear from you. So good to hear that you have another daughter who is healthy and who you can talk with about this. Perhaps best of all, is that you are going to look for and probably go to an Al-Anon mtg. I have a friend who went and it was the BEST thing in the world for her! Truly, it made THAT much of a difference.

Did not totally understand your post earlier about whether or not your daughter is willing to get treatment for likely dependency on alcohol. It would be great if she would go to AA or to a Treatment Center. Perhaps you could learn how to cope with all of this at Al-Anon (I think this is very likely). The commaraderie of being with folks in your SAME exact shoes will be very informative, powerful, enlightening and uplifting.

I think you are starting off the new year with a great attitude.

Sending you good thoughts...wishing you well.

 

[DDD]

Glad you are feeling a bit better and ready to fall back and regroup. It is exhausting living on an emotional rollercoaster. Many hugs. DDD

 

[susiestar]

I am glad you are feeling better. At least Betsey is admitting she needs to change her alcohol consumption.

I am sure you will find a LOT of support at alanon. Just remember that even small towns generally have several different groups. Each group has a personality, sort of. So if one seems not quite right you may find another that is a better fit.

I really like one at one of the churches in the evening. husband likes one at noon at an office. My mother prefers one at the AA center in town. Each one is very different. We find it helpful to not be at the one with my relatives. Sometimes we even need separate meetings from each other.

You might see if easy child wants to go to a meeting, or to alateen.