Hi Leafy
I am late to this post and just catching up.
I think the big exercise here is to try as best can, not to make it our suffering? Maybe that is why we bend over backwards to try to “help”, because if our adult kids would just get on a good track, we would be more at ease. I think that is where they get to us, they must know how it pains us.
I am late to this post and just catching up.
Oh my dear leafy I’ve had a lot of hurt and had searching so grinding moments of late. Wondering a lot about the situations in my life and what they’re meant to be teaching me. I’m exhausted myself with emotion and I have turned to some of the Buddhist learnings from Pima children to try and manage my emotional state around these occurrences. And one teaching she states to stop the story step back and identify the emotions. And leafy you’re hundred percent right we have to recognize her emotions address our emotions and manager emotions and then put ourselves back into the scenario that we’re looking at and recognize what is and isn’t ours what does and doesn’t belong to us. And in that process I somehow find myself more at peace.
It’s incredible to me, As a matter of fact it’s mind-boggling that we identify so much of our addictted loved one’s behaviour from each other‘s posts that we could almost healed them out and replace the name of who were reading about what’s the name of our very own child and nothing else would stay the same the dynamic is completely different globally. And this is where we have to step back and name the behaviour addiction we love our children we need to see beyond that addiction. We need to see beyond the manipulation of that addiction and we need to know that while they allow themselves to remain in the grips of that addiction then we must protect ourselves. Mentor I need to read this statement anytime I feel like I’ve lost My own mind over the craziness and Mayham that surrounds addiction.
So many wise comments so much information and support have already been placed within this post, I truly don’t have much more to add.
Hang in there my dear leafy you were a good kind and wonderful soul. We have been given these lessons in life for a reason I sure as Hades don’t know what that reason is yet but I’m pretty excited to find out what it is. Hang in there my dear leafy you were good kind and wonderful soul. We have been given these lessons in life for reason I sure as Hades don’t know what that reason is yet but I’m pretty excited to find out what it is it’s got to be something good.
Mad is good I think that when I am in the wallows of guilt I am much more vulnerable when I get angry is when my mother bear comes out to protect me and myself from the addict and the attic’s behavior. Stay mad for a little while leafy get that protection bubble up.
And for the love of all of us give yourself a break for answering the phone. I don’t like I was rescuing someone from the trauma every time the phone rang once my son was in rehab full well knowing that the on slot of miserableness would still be using out of him yet I still ran to answer. We all only do what our hearts can bear it’s not right or wrong it just is and then we liquor want to move forward and set boundaries and barriers as best we can.
When you mentioned her comments about your husband passing the acid in my mind wanted to shout out and we are were you when he was dying how much of a burden number you want everyone else while he was dying where were you when your father needed you? But again my higher power knows that engaging at that level is satisfaction for a fleeting second and just engaging in negative drama and draining.
Be good and kind to yourself my wise friend at some point someday somewhere sometime I know we will all be resonating with knowledge and a huge ha ha so this is what these life lessons for us we’re truly all about.
