BloodiedButUnbowed
Well-Known Member
I have no doubt Wyatt was sent by E's HP. I am glad to hear he is starting to slowly show signs of returning to Earth. Keep us posted and be good to yourself. How is your hubby doing?
There is no Dick Clark but the final count down is on.
- Thread starter Littleboylost
- Start date
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
I am sorry I am late. This is so hard but Wyatt is an angel and I agree he came from E's HP. Long ago RN wondered how her son could live his whole life and never again have a beer. When I was divorced I dated a man in Recovery and his group of friends were all in Recovery and they found other ways to socialize and have fun. Maybe....Wyatt can be a friend like that for E.
Love and light. Crossing every possible body part.
Love and light. Crossing every possible body part.
Baggy Bags
Active Member
Sending strength and hope for you and your boy. I hope this is a turning point in his life. Stay strong, momma. (((hugs)))
Littleboylost
Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
I am over the hurt. But really the last thing to text is you are not my mother...was a rough one.
I am still sick viral pharyngitis. Not my favourite but not unexpected with all the craziness going on.
I am happy to say that drug test was negative for cocaine today and he actually called me and his dad today. Just to talk. He looks Terrible but that’s to be expected. Not sleeping. He sounds calm and acts calm and that is such a huge difference.
I saw POS girlfriend at the post office today she works there. I wanted to stamp her on the head. I got my parcel and said. It a word to her.
We have a solid plan no communicating with girlfriend no letters no phone calls until first behaviour review. I am not sure how long that will be.
They also have a good match for him in terms of a Sr program sponsor and his cousleor sounds like a good match too. Hope and no expectations.
But plan B detox seems to be working.
I am still sick viral pharyngitis. Not my favourite but not unexpected with all the craziness going on.
I am happy to say that drug test was negative for cocaine today and he actually called me and his dad today. Just to talk. He looks Terrible but that’s to be expected. Not sleeping. He sounds calm and acts calm and that is such a huge difference.
I saw POS girlfriend at the post office today she works there. I wanted to stamp her on the head. I got my parcel and said. It a word to her.
We have a solid plan no communicating with girlfriend no letters no phone calls until first behaviour review. I am not sure how long that will be.
They also have a good match for him in terms of a Sr program sponsor and his cousleor sounds like a good match too. Hope and no expectations.
But plan B detox seems to be working.
Sam3
Active Member
You're not my mom
You are dead to me
I'm never going to speak to you again
I'm leaving and you'll never see me again
I can't wait till I don't have parents anymore
But the saddest for me wasn't nearly that extreme.
It was "I'm glad you're crying."
(Hopefully they'll trade their Difficult Child phrase books for Big Books)
Littleboylost
Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
Hubby is doing what he does best being engrossed in being busy. He broke down on Sunday and I did on Monday and Tuesday. He can not see E right now and he is going to drive him to rehab. I have to work and I can not be replaced. I have a high risk infusion and we have to have 2 ACLS qualified nurses for this infusion. It is a 5 day course (Lemtrada for MS) so I can not even shift it a day. I will say my goodbyes on Sunday evening.
Littleboylost
Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
They can be so out of their minds yet calculating and cruel
You're not my mom
You are dead to me
I'm never going to speak to you again
I'm leaving and you'll never see me again
I can't wait till I don't have parents anymore
But the saddest for me wasn't nearly that extreme.
It was "I'm glad you're crying."
(Hopefully they'll trade their Difficult Child phrase books for Big Books)
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
You will never see me again.
You will be all alone when you are old.
You will pay for this. *
*You will suffer for this (variation)
Too hard: when he called me by my name.
You will be all alone when you are old.
You will pay for this. *
*You will suffer for this (variation)
Too hard: when he called me by my name.
Littleboylost
Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
OMG thisbhand book hey have!! I always get called Mother or by my first name with every insult he hurls.
And when I say something constructive the tears and the accusations of the harm I have done.
I just had an epiphany while I lay here, if detox gave my kid the boot no wonder I am so run down and spent.
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
My son blames me for adopting him. For loving him and having hope. He accuses me for not choosing another child. Like it is my fault that he suffers. And that if I had not found him, he would not have suffered. I am the only one of his 3 parents he can rail against. I try to stay strong. It is hard. Because I never wanted him to suffer at all.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Lbl the last thing my precious beloved smart, beautiful daughter said to me before slamming the door after we made her leave, in front of my husband, the littles and Goneboy who had come to fetch her and take her to his house was "l WILL HATE YOU FOREVER!' This wasn't like her, on drugs or not. I cried for weeks. I had to call Goneboy to hear how she is doing because she would not come to the phone. I didn't eat or sleep. I had to act normal around the littles. It was hard. Her last words haunted me every minute. Every second.
You know-how that ended. We are very very close. I don't know if she remembers what she said. I do though and say prayers to the Universe that she HAd to say that at the time...it was a lesson for both of us. I believe everything in life is a lesson. From the Universe. Things we must experience and learn in this life (I believe we are spirits who come to earth many times as a school room). The hard stuff teaches us the most and even brings us the closest to those we love.
Your son had to text you that vile declaration and you need to learn from it. I am not sure what, but it is a lesson All this is. And he didn't mean it in his heart. His real true self, his higher self, is a good man. And you are brave and can handle his detoxing words.
And he will come to you again with love. But he needs to clear his head and think and.learn.
You will both find that love spot again.
"This too shall pass." This is wise and true.
Hugs love and light.
You know-how that ended. We are very very close. I don't know if she remembers what she said. I do though and say prayers to the Universe that she HAd to say that at the time...it was a lesson for both of us. I believe everything in life is a lesson. From the Universe. Things we must experience and learn in this life (I believe we are spirits who come to earth many times as a school room). The hard stuff teaches us the most and even brings us the closest to those we love.
Your son had to text you that vile declaration and you need to learn from it. I am not sure what, but it is a lesson All this is. And he didn't mean it in his heart. His real true self, his higher self, is a good man. And you are brave and can handle his detoxing words.
And he will come to you again with love. But he needs to clear his head and think and.learn.
You will both find that love spot again.
"This too shall pass." This is wise and true.
Hugs love and light.
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BloodiedButUnbowed
Well-Known Member
LBL you are going to be able to write best selling self help books for other parents going through this hell in the future. Yes you are doing THAT well whether it feels like it or not. So proud to be among your cheering section!!
E doesn't mean the hateful things he says. He's trying to hurt you, and he'll apologize for it later. Let it go in one ear and out the other.
Watch what he does. He is participating in the current plan. He is texting you and your husband and while he might be rude and obnoxious, he is TEXTING YOU. I can tell you that is more than wife and I get from stepsons.
E has a good heart underneath his addiction. You will see and feel his love again soon.
I believe he will make it.
Have a good weekend and take care of yourself. I hope your patient does well today.
E doesn't mean the hateful things he says. He's trying to hurt you, and he'll apologize for it later. Let it go in one ear and out the other.
Watch what he does. He is participating in the current plan. He is texting you and your husband and while he might be rude and obnoxious, he is TEXTING YOU. I can tell you that is more than wife and I get from stepsons.
E has a good heart underneath his addiction. You will see and feel his love again soon.
I believe he will make it.
Have a good weekend and take care of yourself. I hope your patient does well today.
Baggy Bags
Active Member
My son has said pretty much all of those, but the worst one was:
"You're crazy if you think I'm going to let you anywhere near my children" - he was 14 when he said this.
There was also - "When I turn 18, I'm leaving and you will never see me again."
"You're crazy if you think I'm going to let you anywhere near my children" - he was 14 when he said this.
There was also - "When I turn 18, I'm leaving and you will never see me again."
BloodiedButUnbowed
Well-Known Member
I think if they care enough about you to angrily denounce you, it's a good sign that in fact they are just angry and venting steam.
DS is entirely NC with us and YS is very limited contact, no in-person visits, just an occasional phone call and my wife steals time with him when she accompanies him to a doctor's appointment only.
Neither stepson ever screamed that they intended to chop us out of their lives during a moment of heated emotion. Yet with cold calculation that is what each of them has chosen to do.
For whatever that's worth.....
DS is entirely NC with us and YS is very limited contact, no in-person visits, just an occasional phone call and my wife steals time with him when she accompanies him to a doctor's appointment only.
Neither stepson ever screamed that they intended to chop us out of their lives during a moment of heated emotion. Yet with cold calculation that is what each of them has chosen to do.
For whatever that's worth.....
newstart
Well-Known Member
LBL, Just sending healing thoughts and love all around your broken heart. Sometimes when I know I am going to get verbally abused, I envision myself in a glass case and the toxic words and ugly actions towards me hit the glass and evaporate. Just know that even though we all are on the computer the collective positive energy will surround you and blow energy into your battle. You do realize you are winning in this horrible battle. Yes girlfriend YOU are ahead.
RN0441
100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
LBL
Yes please don't take what he says personally when his brain is altered by chemicals. He most likely will not remember it. And I guarantee you that YOU/MOM are the one he loves the most in this world!!
Our son never said anything mean to us EXCEPT many years ago he was out one night and asked for $10. We knew he was drugging as he was on a binge at that time. My husband had told him no. So he asked me to ask his dad and I said no, that I would not even ask his dad. This was all by text.
He gave me the middle finger emoji (first time I'd seen it) and I was crushed. Over $10. I will never forget that.
Yes please don't take what he says personally when his brain is altered by chemicals. He most likely will not remember it. And I guarantee you that YOU/MOM are the one he loves the most in this world!!
Our son never said anything mean to us EXCEPT many years ago he was out one night and asked for $10. We knew he was drugging as he was on a binge at that time. My husband had told him no. So he asked me to ask his dad and I said no, that I would not even ask his dad. This was all by text.
He gave me the middle finger emoji (first time I'd seen it) and I was crushed. Over $10. I will never forget that.
so ready to live
Well-Known Member
LBL- my eyes are stinging with tears as I read so many renditions of this pain. We, upon asking our son to leave, similar to COPA, heard " I don't know why you ever adopted me, I'm such a disappointment, but what am I supposed to do, you're the only family I've got". I still two years later feel the sting of those words and I know he had me at "you're the only family I've got". The crux is it's true and I love him with all my heart, drug addled, mentally a little off, whatever. Pulling away to try to allow him to figure his own life out has been the hardest thing we've ever done. I never planned on this, in my mind he would become a man happy with himself, a gainful member of society. That has not happened.
How do I deal with it?
I come here, finding others who are in my boat and taking what comfort there is in that. As I reread this, I realize how bad I still feel when I drop my guard. Thank you all for your honesty today. Prayers.
How do I deal with it?
I come here, finding others who are in my boat and taking what comfort there is in that. As I reread this, I realize how bad I still feel when I drop my guard. Thank you all for your honesty today. Prayers.
strangeworld
Active Member
So many cruel words from my daughter have chipped away at my heart. The worst that I can think of right now is when she was drunk...but broke out in a rash all over her body, she thought was scabies (turned out to be guttate psoriasis) in summer 2O16 and I took her to a prompt care. When the nurse left the room and we were waiting for the doctor my daughter, laying on the bed, while I sat in the chair across from her, said "someone should have pushed you off a bridge a years ago".
They always say "don't take anything your teens say personally". Give me a break. Don't let them see you cry...this is absurd advice. Maybe they SHOULD see what their words do to us. Parents are human beings... sorry kids. We have baggage left over from our formative years too....just as our parents do or did...and their parents. Wouldn't my daughter think it was odd if I started blaming my mom for all of my inadequacies? Maybe that's what I should do. .just start being a victim...start drinking again and using and complaining that my mom and dad should have not paid for college...for health ins...for whatever...30 years ago.
They always say "don't take anything your teens say personally". Give me a break. Don't let them see you cry...this is absurd advice. Maybe they SHOULD see what their words do to us. Parents are human beings... sorry kids. We have baggage left over from our formative years too....just as our parents do or did...and their parents. Wouldn't my daughter think it was odd if I started blaming my mom for all of my inadequacies? Maybe that's what I should do. .just start being a victim...start drinking again and using and complaining that my mom and dad should have not paid for college...for health ins...for whatever...30 years ago.
ColleenB
Active Member
They say things while desperate that we could never imagine.
That was my first clue this is the real deal now. My son hasn’t said anything even remotely blaming or mean in months. When I say something about the past he immediately says “none of it was your fault”. Simply put.
I am starting to believe it .
Hang in there.... hugs xoxo
That was my first clue this is the real deal now. My son hasn’t said anything even remotely blaming or mean in months. When I say something about the past he immediately says “none of it was your fault”. Simply put.
I am starting to believe it .
Hang in there.... hugs xoxo
Baggy Bags
Active Member
Thank you so much for saying this.
I'm so sick of people telling me not to take it personally, that I'm the adult, that I have to take. F*** that noise.
The world isn't going to put up with them behaving like that, why should we???
Putting up with it, in a way, is like telling them that it's okay to talk to people like that. And it's not. Period.
