update on Difficult Child
- Thread starter Childofmine
- Start date
detachingmother
serenity
Just wanted to say thank you for all of your posts prior to my coming here.
Your sons story is very similar to my son's I think.
I am just wanting to thank you and say I am going to Al Anon, very soon and see how it has seemed to help you.
Also, I am going to read up on all of what you have here, in hopes of finding more info when I get more time. I have to head out today, then going to be swamped tomorrow. But, hoping too by posting here will help me remember what I wanted to read next.
Even your son with a girlfriend who stabbed him. UGH, my son was stabbed by his last girlfriend, with a sharp fork and she nearly hit an artery. :-(
Your sons story is very similar to my son's I think.
I am just wanting to thank you and say I am going to Al Anon, very soon and see how it has seemed to help you.
Also, I am going to read up on all of what you have here, in hopes of finding more info when I get more time. I have to head out today, then going to be swamped tomorrow. But, hoping too by posting here will help me remember what I wanted to read next.
Even your son with a girlfriend who stabbed him. UGH, my son was stabbed by his last girlfriend, with a sharp fork and she nearly hit an artery. :-(
Childofmine
one day at a time
Just wanted to give you all an update on this post.
With our help, Difficult Child got health insurance that started Feb. 1. He is being treated by a gastro doctor---they treat both the hemorrhoids and the Hep C. They are "watching" the Hep C and his levels are much better. It's stabilized. Evidently they have a protocol that they don't consider treatment until the diagnosis is 6 months old because sometimes it "disappears" in people. So he will have six months in another few months. He goes back in March about that. Next week he is having a colonoscopy to see what's going on there, and he also is pursuing a consult with a colorectal surgeon. He really wants surgery on his hemorrhoids because he says he's been dealing with them for six years and nothing helps.
So we'll see there. The good news is he is working every day and still making progress. He decided he needed to go to the dentist since he hasn't been in about five years and so made arrangements to go to a sliding scale dental clinic and goes today to see about a cavity he believes he has. They charge $100 a cavity if you have one that needs to be filled.
I didn't offer to pay for it, and he didn't ask.
From what I see, he is continuing to make progress. He quit smoking (huge!). He isn't drinking (he says) due to the the Hep C and the fact the Dr. made a very strong point to him about that.
He made arrangements on his student loan that had gone into default.
He is cleaning up the messes he made after 5+ years of down, down, down living. It takes time.
But when I see him, his eyes are clear, he sounds level and sensible and he is doing some really hard things consistently, like driving 1 hour to work one way every day.
I am hopeful that his progress will continue and I continue to work hard to maintain my own boundaries with him. He calls or comes by at least once a week.
This weekend his brother hired him to dig a stump out of their front yard and Difficult Child came by to borrow an axe and a hoe. He has always been a very hard worker and is willing to do odd jobs like that to earn more money.
Thanks for all of your ongoing love and encouragement. Fingers crossed for the future.
With our help, Difficult Child got health insurance that started Feb. 1. He is being treated by a gastro doctor---they treat both the hemorrhoids and the Hep C. They are "watching" the Hep C and his levels are much better. It's stabilized. Evidently they have a protocol that they don't consider treatment until the diagnosis is 6 months old because sometimes it "disappears" in people. So he will have six months in another few months. He goes back in March about that. Next week he is having a colonoscopy to see what's going on there, and he also is pursuing a consult with a colorectal surgeon. He really wants surgery on his hemorrhoids because he says he's been dealing with them for six years and nothing helps.
So we'll see there. The good news is he is working every day and still making progress. He decided he needed to go to the dentist since he hasn't been in about five years and so made arrangements to go to a sliding scale dental clinic and goes today to see about a cavity he believes he has. They charge $100 a cavity if you have one that needs to be filled.
I didn't offer to pay for it, and he didn't ask.
From what I see, he is continuing to make progress. He quit smoking (huge!). He isn't drinking (he says) due to the the Hep C and the fact the Dr. made a very strong point to him about that.
He made arrangements on his student loan that had gone into default.
He is cleaning up the messes he made after 5+ years of down, down, down living. It takes time.
But when I see him, his eyes are clear, he sounds level and sensible and he is doing some really hard things consistently, like driving 1 hour to work one way every day.
I am hopeful that his progress will continue and I continue to work hard to maintain my own boundaries with him. He calls or comes by at least once a week.
This weekend his brother hired him to dig a stump out of their front yard and Difficult Child came by to borrow an axe and a hoe. He has always been a very hard worker and is willing to do odd jobs like that to earn more money.
Thanks for all of your ongoing love and encouragement. Fingers crossed for the future.
Calamity Jane
Well-Known Member
That's very encouraging, COM. I hope he keeps it up, I know it's a hard road, but he's doing it on his own. Hope he continues in physical health, too.
detachingmother
serenity
Thank you for the update. There is hope.
My Son is was two years out on the no more trouble plan for goes back to jail on a four year felony charge. Paid over $20000 in restitution, was almost off probation and BAM!! Here we are again, but your story gives me hope.
Anyway...just reading along....
Sounds like yours in on the right track. Gives me hope
My Son is was two years out on the no more trouble plan for goes back to jail on a four year felony charge. Paid over $20000 in restitution, was almost off probation and BAM!! Here we are again, but your story gives me hope.
Anyway...just reading along....
Sounds like yours in on the right track.
Gives me hope
Childofmine
one day at a time
DM, I am sorry. I realize something like this can happen with my son as well. He has been paying off his fines, like your son did, and will have another 2 years on probation as well. He has almost earned the "call in" probation. I don't think there is anything we can do about this but grieve it if and when it does happen. We can't save them. As much as we want to. I hope you can let go of it all as much as possible. Using tools in your toolbox pays dividends. Read, write, go to Al-Anon, meditate, do kind things for yourself...take care of YOU. That is all any of us can do in this world. Warm hugs this morning and prayers for you and your son.
