6 year old son keeps getting kicked out of school

[susiestar]

I am guessing that you are in the DFW area. I was curious so I went looking for advocates and or attorneys who would work for parents in your area. They can be tricky to find. I went to the Tx Dept of Education website and they referred me to COPAA, a group of advocates and attorneys who work for parents. They work all over the US, and here is a link to their search page: http://www.copaa.org/search/default.asp .

An advocate or attorney can make this entire process a LOT easier on you and help you keep the focus on your child and his rights to FAPE in LRE. (Free and Appropriate Public Education in Least Restrictive Environment) rather than whatever nonsense the school wants to distract you with. I found that once the school figured out I knew my child's rights and wasn't afraid of or intimidated by them (and I often had 15 or more people at an IEP meeting against just me in a blatant attempt to get me to go along with their stupid, illogical ideas), then my child ended up getting what he needed. I truly think an advocate or attorney would have made it go a lot easier and would have gotten to the point where the nonsense was eliminated far sooner.

 

[kim75062]

So far he's been on concerta which at the 18mg dose had him literally bouncing off my walls within 30 mins. After about 2 hours he crashed and was whinny, clingy and just the most grumpy I've ever seen him. The doctor thought the dose was to low and wore off to fast so upped it to 27mg. Yeah I considered padding my walls and furniture that week.... Same thing but lasted longer. I told his pediatrician if he wants to try to up it again he's staying with him that week. So we decided no more stimulants until we get a better evaluation and proper diagnosis. Tenex seemed to help early this year, it was the first medication we tried. At the low morning dose he was only tired but less impulsive because of being tired but still way out of hand. Added a second mid day dose and all he did was sleep even at school. And bed wetting started. Waited a week to see if he'd adjust but no. tried Intuniv because it's all day after he was six but it didn't help much either and if the dose was increased it snowed him. When it wore off he was in a VERY bad mood and mean and spiteful which is not like him at all. With his extreme ups and downs that he has bi-polar is not a far fetched diagnosis but he's only 6 so no doctor would ever agree to that.

I asked his pediatrician yesterday about abilify because if he is bi-polar it shouldn't cause the manic episodes like some medications would and if he is on the aspergers scale somewhere it can only help. On low doses the side effects aren't horrible and are not to common. I know that risperdal is the go to antipsychotic now for kids but being a nurse I know and have seen the horrible permanent side effects of that drug and will never agree to give it him.

 

[kim75062]

I am guessing that you are in the DFW area. I was curious so I went looking for advocates and or attorneys who would work for parents in your area. They can be tricky to find. I went to the Tx Dept of Education website and they referred me to COPAA, a group of advocates and attorneys who work for parents. They work all over the US, and here is a link to their search page: http://www.copaa.org/search/default.asp .

An advocate or attorney can make this entire process a LOT easier on you and help you keep the focus on your child and his rights to FAPE in LRE. (Free and Appropriate Public Education in Least Restrictive Environment) rather than whatever nonsense the school wants to distract you with. I found that once the school figured out I knew my child's rights and wasn't afraid of or intimidated by them (and I often had 15 or more people at an IEP meeting against just me in a blatant attempt to get me to go along with their stupid, illogical ideas), then my child ended up getting what he needed. I truly think an advocate or attorney would have made it go a lot easier and would have gotten to the point where the nonsense was eliminated far sooner.

Sorry didn't see this post until now, it started a new page. But yes in Dfw area. I called a few advocates and have so far only heard back from the ones that want an arm and leg for their fees. I'm sure with how bad the school districts are in this area they are very busy. His ard meeting is set for Thursday and he will start in the new school Friday after the IEP is in place with staff that will actually follow it. The new school seems like it's going to be a much better fit for him. And it's completely fenced off so if he chooses to run he will not be getting anywhere.

 

[susiestar]

It sounds like he is not actually adhd to me. Generally stimulants do NOT make a child who truly has adhd bounce off walls. It calms them down. When Wiz, my oldest, was little they gave us his first week of adderall as a test - if it calmed him down and he could concentrate, he was adhd. If not, he wasn't. I don't know if it is still considered as black and white, but I would look for solutions other than adhd for him given his reaction to stimulants. FYI, the bedwetting was likely because he slept more deeply than usual due to crashing after the medications wore off. Of course, I don't know if a pediatrician has the experience to prescribe these types of medications. Ours were only given by child psychiatrists or developmental pediatricians (developmental pediatricians deal with things like autism, aspergers, etc... and generally have advanced studies in child psychiatry and developmental disorders - ours was board certified in child psychiatry and developmental pediatrics).

The new school sounds amazing and I would definitely get him there as soon as possible!

 

[kim75062]

I can't say bed wetting not always a problem. He was sloooowly growing out of it. Full daytime potty trained somewhere around 2, I really can't remember anymore. And refusing to wear pull-ups for bed around 3ish. The bed wetting was down to a 50/50 chance at that point and he was still in a toddler bed so we used the big washable pads/chucks I acquired from work. By the time the medication started (2 years later) he was down to an average of 1 or 2 nights a week. Some weeks 0 and some weeks 2 days in a row. Since he tried the medications it has gone to every night with no signs of it stopping anytime soon.

 

[kim75062]

His pediatrician is not technically a developmental pediatrician but he has a son with mental illnesses and treats a lot of kids with aspergers, add etc. most also go to a psy but he still does the monitoring. he is VERY willing to help and will admit when he doesn't know something and will call other docs etc to get to a answer. He called me today from home (his cell, the only doctor I know that still gives pts a personal number) and said to bring my son to his office tomorrow (Sunday and yes he's closed) to go over the report from the lssp because he will have plenty of time with us then. I couldn't ask for a better pediatrician for him.

 

[BloodiedButUnbowed]

Glad you have a lot of support. Sounds like the school psychologist wants to help but resources are an issue. It sounds like your son is a complicated kiddo. Getting him figured out is likely to take a while. I would suggest having him evaluated by a child psychiatrist and also a developmental pediatrician. You're in a major metro area so I would think it will be easier for you to find a developmental pediatrician than if you lived in a rural area. Even so, prepare for a long wait. Maybe I missed it, did they recommend special education for him? If not, you are entitled to have him evaluated a second time at the school's expense, as long as you submitted a formal written request for an evaluation for special education services.

 

[susiestar]

Your pediatrician sounds great, esp about being willing to come in on a Sunday to talk to you about your son in depth. I think with the evaluation lined up for early Nov you and the new school that sounds so great, you are getting things in order for your son. It may take some time to find the right mix of things to help, but I am sure that you will find it.

 

[kim75062]

Headed to the first ARD meeting now. Hopefully he starts the new school tomorrow. Hopefully it's not as bad as the last "not an IEP" meeting and someone else in the room has some common sense.

 

[kim75062]

Well everyone from the old school, new school and district was there for his meeting, I think 18 people in total. They spent almost 2 hours reading the results of the assessments that I already read the week before. Almost an hour of it was really a waste of time because he didn't qualify for speech or autism but they still had to go over the findings and explain why he didn't qualify.

In the end he ended up with Occupational Therapist (OT) once a week to work on his writing. The Occupational Therapist (OT) also provided spring loaded scissors for him, noise canceling head phone and a computer to type his work. it's not in the plan but she is going to try a weighted vest and a wobbler chair for him to see how that goes.

The school psy is also going to see him once a week for 20 mins to help him with coping skills. He did not get a one on one para in his plan but I had already talked to his new principal and the district Special Education coordinator about it and he will have someone for the first 1 1/2 of the day during writing/reading where he struggles the most with being cooperative and someone at the end of the day for 30 mins for the first 2 weeks to see how it goes and see if he going to need that support or not. Also he will have someone with him in gym in case he can't deal with the noise even with the headphones on.

We visited the school today and he meet the counsler and seemed very happy to be there and is excited to start Monday. His new teacher had an emergency and was not there so we will go early Monday to meet him before drop off time.

The people at the new school seemed like they know what they are doing so far and in the meeting where very active in looking for ways to prevent the problems that lead to the behaviors instead of just how to manage the behaviors after they happen.

 

[susiestar]

This sounds amazing!! I wish more schools were like the new one. I hope it goes well.

 

[kim75062]

He had a great first day! One issue with him not wanting to come in from recess but they quickly handled it and he was fine for the other 3 recesses they get there. I know its only one day, and to not get my hopes up but its the first good day hes had since last year.

 

[HMBgal]

I'm so happy for you and your little guy. Placement is everything, and a staff that understands what's happening and knows appropriate techniques to manage behaviors that are useful for the student and help them learn to manage themselves. I hope it continues to be a good fit.

 

[susiestar]

It makes me wonder exactly how he was treated at the other school that he had such a great day at this school. Part of me thinks that maybe the teacher at the other school shouldn't be around any kids. Having a bad teacher for a year in one of your first few years of school is a great set up for an unsuccessful school career the whole way through. My dad taught kids in jr high who had bad experiences in elem school. It made things so much harder for everyone in the later years. Plus it totally destroys a child's natural thirst for learning, which I think should be a crime. It is one thing I loved about Montessori.

 

[kim75062]

He had a good day yesterday to. He did try to run out of the gym 4 times but they knew that going in that he hated the loud noises. They tried the noise cancelling head phones but he kept taking them off and trying to leave. It was worth a try, now they know not to send him back to gym. He will be going to art instead on the gym days with another class. Besides that hes been doing all his work, not being defiant, running off etc. I'm hoping it will last and hes not just feeling it out and planning escape routes in his head. Hes also been more relaxed and easy going the last few days at home. Normally I would say do you homework and there would be at least stomping and whining accompanied by non stop complaining the entire time on how is fingers hurt and his hand is going to fall off before he even picked up the pencil. Even then he would still do it and his hands have yet to fall off. The last 2 days he went to the table and did his home work unhappily but with minimal complaining.

 

[mof]

I know how much this must free you..hope it continues!!!! For both of you!

 

[HMBgal]

Being an adapted PE teacher, I understand the gym problem. With my students, they know they need to go with their class, but we don't make them jump right in. They can hang around the periphery (even outside the gym door) and watch. Usually they'll get interested in what's going on and over time, they will become desensitized, or at least a willingness to try headphones, earmuffs, or something that feels like they have some control. Maybe borrow a piece of equipment from the class and play outside the gym with it. And maybe it's only one or two minutes of engagement, but that's great progress and something on which to build.

 

[kim75062]

I found this page researching and thought it might be helpful for others who read this thread.

https://www.understood.org/en/learn...sing-issues-handle-school-challenges#slide-14

 

[kim75062]

He made it all week without them having to call me to come get him. I had a very long phone conversation with his teacher about how hes doing. He has left the classroom a few times but hes not bolting away. After a few mins with either, the teacher, counsler or administrator they get him back in the room and hes fine after that. He is needing constant redirection, which I'm sure is driving the teacher crazy. But he is complying all 100 times a day that he is redirected, he is doing and completing his work and engaging in the class activities instead of wanting to be alone at a table.The teacher said he can see how hard he is trying to follow all the rules and behave himself. I really hope it continues to get better for him. Hes by no means the model student right now but hes no worse then the typical problem child which is still a huge improvement from completely unmanageable.

 

[HMBgal]

It sounds like this school is a good fit.