A View From The Other Side (Fairly Long)

[AppleCori]

Darkwing,

It is NOT more than you deserve. You do deserve a good life.

You have to get to the place where you realize that you are worthy of a good life and all the good things that come with it.

Everything that has happened in your life serves to make you stronger, more resilient, more compassionate.

Believe in yourself. We believe in you. So does your wonderful aunt and uncle.

Dream big.

Apple

 

[DarkwingPsyduck]

I appreciate the kind words. I think what I meant was that, based entirely on my actions, I deserve much less than I actually have. I realize the world isn't black and white, and that actions should have consequences. I don't feel that I have truly balanced the scales. My rights are still outweighed by my wrongs.

Is it normal for toddlers to be a bit sadistic? My niece can be kinda cruel. She asks my uncle to prepare her things throughout the day that we all know she is not going to eat, but he still does it hoping she will. But you can tell she gets some kind of pleasure from being able to make him do it. Yesterday, uncle dozed off on the couch, and Baby climbed up the other side, then basically gave him a WWF style body slam and screamed "WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!!". Thankfully, my uncle's patience seems to be endless, but she just loves messing his up. Like it is her goal in life. It's adorable, but is it normal?

 

[DarkwingPsyduck]

She messes with me sometimes, but my uncle is her primary target. Reminds me of a grade school bully, really. At least she's smart enough to NEVER do it to my aunt.

 

[Lil]

Is it normal for toddlers to be a bit sadistic? My niece can be kinda cruel. She asks my uncle to prepare her things throughout the day that we all know she is not going to eat, but he still does it hoping she will. But you can tell she gets some kind of pleasure from being able to make him do it. Yesterday, uncle dozed off on the couch, and Baby climbed up the other side, then basically gave him a WWF style body slam and screamed "WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!!".

Darkwing, I haven't responded to anything you've written, though I have followed along. My son is 21 and, while I don't think he's doing too much in the line of drugs - a lot of what you've written has hit very close to home.

But this made me smile. There is nothing more selfish or yes, sadistic, than a toddler. lol She does love that she's able to make a grown up do something...cook what she wants, do what she wants, when she wants. That's totally normal.

He needs to nip it in the bud, though.

 

[DarkwingPsyduck]

Darkwing, I haven't responded to anything you've written, though I have followed along. My son is 21 and, while I don't think he's doing too much in the line of drugs - a lot of what you've written has hit very close to home.

But this made me smile. There is nothing more selfish or yes, sadistic, than a toddler. lol She does love that she's able to make a grown up do something...cook what she wants, do what she wants, when she wants. That's totally normal.

He needs to nip it in the bud, though.

I may not be the religious type, but my uncle's patience is the closest thing I have ever witnessed to a miracle. He is a good man. I am not even blood to him. This baby was born while Amanda was still in jail, and we have had her every day of her life since then. And she is so mean to the poor man. There is nothing he wouldn't do for her, though he jokes around as if he doesn't really care. Watch him with her for 5 minutes, and you will know that not to be the case. I adore her, too.

No kids of my own, but we have had 2 of my twin's children with as at one point. She moved from Texas to Reno with a 14 month old son. We took care of him until he was 2 and a half. Then sister committed a series of crimes, which prompted the involvement in CPS. She wasn't living with us at the time, but the baby was. They showed up with 2 cops one night, who looked around the house and complimented the environment we had made, and noted the fact that the baby adored us. Figured that would be the end of that, but they came back 30 minutes later to remove him. I completely lost my . So badly that the cops had to take me down, and hold me while the CPS worker got away. I then put a few holes in the wall. Didn't expect it to hurt as much as it did. I feel responsible for opening the door. After that, the new baby was born, and I was terrified to get close to her knowing that they might take her. That didn't work out, though. She is too adorable. Too fun. I can't imagine my life right now without her.

 

[Lil]

You sound like a fantastic uncle.

 

[DarkwingPsyduck]

You sound like a fantastic uncle.

I am trying to be. Terrified she will end up with a childhood like mine and her mom's. Which blows me away, and really shows the addiction for the problem it really is. Amanda is almost identical to our mother in terms of her life style, and lack of parenting skills. She knows how difficult life is in that situation, but it doesn't stop her at all. It is not that she doesn't love her kids, because I know that she does. It is probably easier for her knowing we will do everything we can to keep the baby.

She turns out just like our mom, and I am terrified of turning out like our dad.

 

[GoingNorth]

Making allowance that my experiences date back to mostly the 70s, I have encountered a few drugs that I KNEW I would become addicted to if I countinued to use them.

Heroin, which I tried twice,sniffed once and smoked once.
Secobarbital (Red Devils) Also called Seconal.
Opium. Smoked several times. Loved it. It's still my favorite opiate, but I'd never smoke it again.

I have done Black Beauties and White cross. They served their purpose, but I don't like the high.

Never did meth. THAT was the drug we freaks were all scared to death of back then.

Last time I used was in 82, shortly after my husband shipped off to boot camp. I am interested in trying the modern MJ if it ever becomes legal in WI.

That said, I am studying to bring my info up to date and learn about the RCs and other drugs around now, plus the herbals like kratom, ayahuasca, etc.

Having you here is fantastic as you are modern, and you've survived getting off of drugs. I'm more like a textbook.

 

[DarkwingPsyduck]

Making allowance that my experiences date back to mostly the 70s, I have encountered a few drugs that I KNEW I would become addicted to if I countinued to use them.

Heroin, which I tried twice,sniffed once and smoked once.
Secobarbital (Red Devils) Also called Seconal.
Opium. Smoked several times. Loved it. It's still my favorite opiate, but I'd never smoke it again.

I have done Black Beauties and White cross. They served their purpose, but I don't like the high.

Never did meth. THAT was the drug we freaks were all scared to death of back then.

Last time I used was in 82, shortly after my husband shipped off to boot camp. I am interested in trying the modern MJ if it ever becomes legal in WI.

That said, I am studying to bring my info up to date and learn about the RCs and other drugs around now, plus the herbals like kratom, ayahuasca, etc.

Having you here is fantastic as you are modern, and you've survived getting off of drugs. I'm more like a textbook.

Secobarbital is a barbituate, yeah? I have done barbituates, but not that one. And only to help me during withdrawal. My drug of choice was oxycodone. In any form, but preferably the 30mg IR tablets. Was at 330-360mg a day at my worst. I have tried just about every drug popular today. Did mushrooms a few times. Acid once, and that was MORE than enough. Not an experience I regret, just not one I need to repeat. Tried meth one time. Smoked heroin a couple of times. Did benzos when out of other stuff. Even did LSA. Not sure if you know of that one, but holy . It is found in many common house plants, most notably Morning Glory. It is one of the main ingredients in LSD, acid. It is essentially unrefined, natural acid. You have to eat a ridiculous amount of seeds. Which will make you vomit like never before. After that, though, you are in for a hell of a 8hours.

Experimented with kratom. Felt nothing, regardless of the dose. Most likely due to my insane tolerance to actual opiates, and sedatives. Smoked the k2 spice stuff during some withdrawals. Tastes awful, and doesn't last long. Ayahuasca is a hallucinogenic, yeah? If it is what I think it is, I have done that, too. Tried salvia a few times. That's stuff is a real trip.

But, I have had enough of the mind altering substances. Since finishing my Suboxone treatment, I have only drank a handful of times. Apart from that, I enjoy keeping my mind clear. Something it hadn't been for years prior to this. The only substance I truly regret were opiates, though. The only one I ever had any real problem with. Due to how much more I liked it than everything else. I made a point not to start gambling. And I live in Reno, NV. I have a very addictive personality, and I figured I was ruining my life just fine without gambling. Twin sister is a problem gambler, though.

It's good to have you here, though. Most of the other active members' experience with drugs is mostly through their children, and not first person.

 

[GoingNorth]

Well, I have no experience with modern drugs, especially the research chemicals and the like.

I'm also studying up on modern marijuana and the terminology used. Let's just say that a "dank nug" didn't sound all that appetizing.

I learned a lot about opiates during the time of my husband's dying as I handled his medications, which were a lot of various kinds, and I had to be on top of interactions. That's when I got into studying interactions, receptors.etc.

I've done some psychedelics, but prefer shrooms and peyote/san pedro to acid. Wouldn't do them these days. Psychedelics quit agreeing with me when I was about 19, which is when the bipolar first started flaring up badly.

 

[GoingNorth]

I've taken oxycodone 10mg with apap (percocet) a couple of times under RX. It has a real weird effect on me. Makes me very talkative and outgoing, which is the very opposite of my usual behavior, and then, about an hour and half after I've taken a pill, if I get up and walk, my legs will collapse under me without warning.

Hydrocodone just makes me goofy. Tramadol makes me hyper, but doesn't screw me up, and i haven't tried any of the stronger opioids other than IV or intrathecal in a hospital setting.

 

[DarkwingPsyduck]

Well, I have no experience with modern drugs, especially the research chemicals and the like.

I'm also studying up on modern marijuana and the terminology used. Let's just say that a "dank nug" didn't sound all that appetizing.

I learned a lot about opiates during the time of my husband's dying as I handled his medications, which were a lot of various kinds, and I had to be on top of interactions. That's when I got into studying interactions, receptors.etc.

I've done some psychedelics, but prefer shrooms and peyote/san pedro to acid. Wouldn't do them these days. Psychedelics quit agreeing with me when I was about 19, which is when the bipolar first started flaring up badly.

There may be a connection. Modern marijuana is MUCH stronger than ever. Keeps getting stronger, too. People who enjoy pot REALLY enjoy pot.

 

[DarkwingPsyduck]

I've taken oxycodone 10mg with apap (percocet) a couple of times under RX. It has a real weird effect on me. Makes me very talkative and outgoing, which is the very opposite of my usual behavior, and then, about an hour and half after I've taken a pill, if I get up and walk, my legs will collapse under me without warning.

Hydrocodone just makes me goofy. Tramadol makes me hyper, but doesn't screw me up, and i haven't tried any of the stronger opioids other than IV or intrathecal in a hospital setting.

Opiates are odd. When not abusing them, they tend to have a sedative effect on people. It is the opposite for an addict. We feel like Superman on them. Not overly energetic, or anything. Just completely content with whatever. Things that would normally be arduous and unpleasant become much less so, to the point where doing it isn't really a chore anymore. You can get a lot done when in that frame of mind. It essentially makes unpleasant things not unpleasant, and pleasant things more pleasant. Win/win. Well, except for all the losing that comes with being a junkie, of course.

 

[BusynMember]

GN, id try the pain killing part of pot if it were legal. I hallucinate on everything from morphine and fentanyl, which they kept feeding me after my car accident, to even codeine. So now I'm stuck with Tylenol when my broken shoulder kicks up. Not that helpful.

Having said that, although I wouldnt be shocked if SW and his crew smoke pot plenty, it will never be legal as long as he sits on Wisconsins throne

 

[BusynMember]

Isnt oxycotin the drug rush limbaugh took that made him deaf? Is that a common side effect?

 

[GoingNorth]

Opiates are odd. When not abusing them, they tend to have a sedative effect on people. It is the opposite for an addict. We feel like Superman on them. Not overly energetic, or anything. Just completely content with whatever. Things that would normally be arduous and unpleasant become much less so, to the point where doing it isn't really a chore anymore. You can get a lot done when in that frame of mind. It essentially makes unpleasant things not unpleasant, and pleasant things more pleasant. Win/win. Well, except for all the losing that comes with being a junkie, of course.

Yes, RL was addicted to Oxycontin. I don't know how he was using it, though, nor how much he was taking.

I've never heard of any opioid causing deafness as a side effect. They do cause low testosterone in many males, though, with the concurrent loss of muscle mass/tone, and lack of libido and sexual functuality.

I can sure see why opioids are so addictive, Heroin and opium make me feel that way, which is why I won't use them. After the initial excitation and falling all over the place (and puking) I basically fall asleep wherever I am. I wasn't taking the oxy for recreational reasons,but rather for pain relief.

 

[GoingNorth]

SWOT, the painkilling part of pot (or at least one of them) is called CBD. It is extracted from hemp in most cases. You can get CBD in various forms legally in most states in the US.

I use it find it helpful for anxiety and muscle spasm/pain. I vape it, so buy a CBD e-liquid, but you can also get it in an oral oil .

 

[GoingNorth]

There may be a connection. Modern marijuana is MUCH stronger than ever. Keeps getting stronger, too. People who enjoy pot REALLY enjoy pot.

Yeah, I've seen photos of buds just covered in trichomes. Sort of scary. I do want to try it at some point, but it'll probably be a one toke experience.

 

[BusynMember]

Hmmmm. Nobody ever tells me about the option when I tell them I absolutely can not take opiates or any narcotic. Makes me grrrrrrrummpy.

Thanks for the heads up.

 

[GoingNorth]

Well, CBD won't handle surgical or acute severe injury pain. It's good for those days when you're a bit anxious and your joints ache all over. It just nice and relaxing.

It also helps some people with nausea but that seems to depend on the individual as more usually it's the THC that helps with that.

If you get nauseated from narcotics, ask your doctor for a RX for phenergan or compazine. If those don't work, ask for Zofran.

I try to have anti=nausea medications on hand if I'm prescribed narcotics as I puke at minimal doses.