I still give my son help here and there when I feel the need to. There is nothing wrong with that. If he asks for $20 occasionally, no problem. If he asks for $580 for him and his girlfriend to get across country for the 3rd time the answer is (and was) a firm no. He was angry at me but he figured it out on his own. To me detachment doesn't mean cutting off your son. It just means setting up firm and healthy boundaries. It means stepping aside and having him take control of his own life. It's not going to be easy for him but he'll learn. My son is 22 and he's still struggling but slowly making progress at this point. I've stepped back and allowed him to figure it out on his own and it's the best thing I've ever done for him.