I don't want this to sound harsh, please don't take it in that vein, but, perhaps, you are looking for something she doesn't have. Answers.Hi Everyone, I have stayed away awhile because I felt as if I was sounding like a broken record. Saying the same things over and over again. I didn't want to be annoying to others cause I annoy myself. So a lil update, my daughter has made her 1 st payment. She is selling a lot of stuff along with giving me money out of her paycheck. I am not thinking about this every minute of every day. The sisters have starting texting each other a lil bit. My older daughter not 100% on board yet. However I am still far far away from happy. Easter I usually have dinner with family at my house. I cancelled the whole day and let everyone go their own way. I was having extreme anxiety about her being here as we are all still quite uncomfortable with this situation. I know all the questions I want answered by her really are irrevlant because it is what it is. Yet that is what is eating at me. I feel I want answers!!!!! So that is pretty much where I am right now
Your daughter is early in the therapy process, she may not, yet, know why she did what she did. From what you have said she seems to be remorseful for her actions and she seems to be trying to make amends.
Playing devil's advocate, she may be embarrassed and ashamed of her own actions. I realize you feel hurt and betrayed, that is only natural, but what are your plans going forward in your relationship with her?
If your plan is to rebuild a relationship with her, and granted it may never be able to be the same relationship you had, violated trust is a very hard thing to overcome, you are going to need to find a way to move past this incident. Is it possible for you to attend therapy sessions with her, or on your own, to help you cope with your feelings toward her?
If your plan is to detach from her, and I don't get that feeling in your posts, then maybe you need some individual therapy to help you do that. It is very difficult to do, and I would imagine even more so with a child. With my sister, it is a very superficial relationship at this point, and it has to be that way, and she is aware of it. I send occasional cards, pics of the kids, but emotionally, I have to be very distant, but my sister is a drug addict and in prison, and she knows that the only way that we can ever try to rebuild a relationship is if she has an extended period and a real commitment to sobriety.
With your daughter (and I am not sure how to word this so I don't sound horrible) it sounds more like you are punishing her rather than detaching from her. Maybe she doesn't, yet, have answers for you about why she did what she did, maybe she is too ashamed to talk about it. Sometimes the shopping thing is related to bipolar mania, but a lot of times it is more related to trying to fill an emotional void in her life with material things.