Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless

[Copabanana]

If I knew your address, I would send you one...or ten.

That is so funny, Feeling. A private joke between you and me, at our own, each other's expense.

I have never seen a house like my own, how it is decorated. Let me try to describe it. It has a life of its own, my house.

I got rid of everything I had when I left the country maybe 12 years ago. So when I came back I started over, in thrift stores, mostly. I bought pictures and more pictures. Originals for a few dollars each. That is my real love. And thrift store pretty glassware and dishes. Then my mother died and I brought her whole house here. Every single thing. I will only give away clothing. Nothing else of my mother's. It has been such work incorporating two houses.

My mother may have had 200 framed pictures. Large ones. I may have had 150 pictures. Smaller ones, mostly. The house is painted a clean white--almost an absence of color. And the floor, I took up all the rugs, and it is painted bright shiny white, the concrete. So all you really see is the pictures and chandeliers. Our color scheme in our great room, dining room, kitchen, hall and breakfast room--which are all together in one space is mostly cyan (dining room), dark blue, burgundy and magenta *living room mainly. Mahogany wood and glass furniture (coffee table.)With gold. It is pretty. Every single lamp is from the 60's or 70's--except a pretty pretty one from maybe the 90's. Everything stands out against this snowy white ground. We have 9' ceilings and a lot of windows.

I still have maybe 50 pictures that I need to hang. I still cannot face getting rid of anything. For a while I was feeling tyrannized by stuff. Dominated by it. Now I feel excited by it. Because I feel what we are creating has meaning. I do not know how to express it. I like living with my mother's taste. Even though not one thing I would have bought for myself.

It almost feels like I am coming to terms with my life and our relationship.

I took most of the doors off the cabinets in the kitchen so you can see my collection of pretty dishes from the thrift store. People like it, especially M's sister who says that this is the custom in Old Mexico. In Old Europe, too.

I think it is kind of European.

Here I am wasting your time, writing about something so inconsequential, Feeling. Except I know you are equally invested in your house. We are each of us for different reasons living trying to deal with the past. In our houses.

Take care. Merry Christmas.

COPA

 

[New Leaf]

Hi Guys,
Well.......I had to postpone our dinner until Sunday.
Hubs called from work with stomach problems, so that set us to jumping into action.

Called Hoku to see about picking up the truck,I go get hubs at work, who, is looking pale and moaning. SIGH. "Just take me home" says he. Daughters say "Take him to the hospital Mom." He says no, take me home and call the doctor. So, I do, call, and wait for a reply. In the meantime, hubs begins to feel a bit better, and is snoring on the bed.

Long story short, he is to eat bland things and drink lots of water.

Kids and I heated up a leftover pizza from the great cookie making event, and munch on that.

Christmas is delayed a bit, until Sunday.

Hubs is sleeping peacefully, and kids have long gone off.

Something told me not to bake the cream cheese pumpkin bars ahead of time.....

Things could be worse, counting our blessings, hubs must have caught the flu, he is not in the hospital......

I am watching an HGTV marathon on tiny houses...I love tiny houses

Life is a continuing series of adjustments......

leafy

 

[Copabanana]

New Leaf, I am sorry your husband is ill. I am glad he is peacefully sleeping in his own bed.

I love tiny houses, too.

Merry Christmas, all.

I am going to bed to read. I will check in tomorrow.

COPA

 

[New Leaf]

My middle son came down to see us. He ran out of antidepressant pills and did not see his doctor, so he was going through withdrawals. My heart is breaking. Down here, he cannot see a doctor for more pills because they have to monitor him. He has promised to see a doctor up there on Monday... I do not think he will.

I know some folks have posted that antidepressants can make some folks feel weird? Maybe son needs to find the right ones, right dose.

He was tired and his eyes felt 'funny'. I was glad to see him, but I was sad that he stopped his pills after only a month.

It will be a period of adjustment for your boy as well.He will be okay Feeling.

Your Christmas sounds about as exciting as mine.......at least we can say we had a very "different" holiday.

Our color scheme in our great room, dining room, kitchen, hall and breakfast room--which are all together in one space is mostly cyan (dining room), dark blue, burgundy and magenta *living room mainly.

Copa, I love your description of your house, especially your color combinations. OOOH, I am not alone. My girls always tease my "accent" walls. I have yet to hang my art work, but will.
Concrete floors painted white.......love it

New Leaf, I am sorry your husband is ill. I am glad he is peacefully sleeping in his own bed.

I love tiny houses, too.

Merry Christmas, all.

Thank you Copa, he will be okay. Merry Christmas to you.

Word of the day...'cherish'.

CHERISH -- thank you Feeling

I cherish my warrior sisterhood

leafy

 

[Feeling Sad]

I cherish my warrior sisterhood, as well...and our children. Both those presently with us, as well as, those who are finding their way...

 

[Feeling Sad]

Leafy, I hope that your husband is feeling better soon.

 

[New Leaf]

Leafy, I hope that your husband is feeling better soon.

Thank you little bird, he is feeling much better already. He will be fine. Our kids will be fine too.
(((HUGS)))
leafy

 

[Feeling Sad]

Copa and Leafy, I have mostly off white walls and own about 75 pictures and paintings. About 30 are my mom's and the rest are mine. They date from 1850's through the 1980's. I just buy antiques now and it hasn't slowed me down in the least.

My youngest son says that I have too many up, but it makes me happy. I rotate them out with many stored.

I also took few cabinet doors off for display. When I had the kitchen and dining ceilings raised to reveal my faux dormers, I had the contractor build a cabinet up high with my cabinet doors above the range to hide the exhaust duct.

My ceilings look like a Gothic church with white ship-lap. They are 13 feet at the apex of each dormer and I can look up and out the paned dormer windows. I thought about doing it since 1994 and finally had it done 2 years ago.

I helped my second husband and his retired contractor father raise the large family room ceiling 10 years ago. I now have a loft and a large palladium window.

Growing up, we had soaring ceilings with a view from Northridge to Burbank. My 8 foot ceilings bothered me...

My counters and flooring are ripped and cracked from my ill son. But, I don't notice much...I have my ceilings!

 

[New Leaf]

My counters and flooring are ripped and cracked from my ill son. But, I don't notice much...I have my ceilings!

Thats the spirit Feeling keep looking UP!

 

[Copabanana]

You are an inspiration. *I will start walking this week and I will do my mammography and blood work. *4 years late.

I still did not do this. I could use the excuse it was Christmas, but I forgot. I will do it this week. How is your health doing, Feeling?

COPA

 

[Feeling Sad]

Mental or physical health, Copa? I would say my health is in the middle range...

The only cracked counter that makes me feel sad is the corner where my son cracked the bottle before holding it out to my throat. He cleaned it up...to destroy any evidence...and threw away the tile corner.

Now, I see it missing and sadly, remember the incident. New counters are way down the list...

Yes, Leafy, I will keep looking up both figuratively and literally!

 

[Copabanana]

When I had the kitchen and dining ceilings raised to reveal my faux dormers

How neat. I am so glad you did this.

They are 13 feet at the apex of each dormer and I can look up and out the paned dormer windows

Wow.

I now have a loft and a large palladium window.

What are palladium windows Feeling?

I would love, love, love a loft. But 9' cannot accommodate a loft, by a long shot. I have thought about a garden room with loft. A tiny, tiny little house with a loft. I do not have a very large yard, but I would still like to do it.

My 8 foot ceilings bothered me...

Yes. I am glad I have my extra foot, to be 9. It is enough. Except I cannot have a loft. But we did break a wall down between the foyer and a bedroom to put in exterior french doors. There is little detail in my house. It was a spec house in the housing boom. But we have made it little by little highly individual. Like you did. Probably mostly by my (and my Mother's) quirky taste...and so many pictures.

I did not realize it until I was quite old already how much I like clutter and complexity. I knew about the complexity but not about the clutter. Not nick knack clutter but having a whole lot of textures and shiny things on the walls, and even ceilings. Sometimes I get embarrassed because I seem not to have reined it in at all. I think anybody who really was a decorator would say, Oh No. But we are happy here. I am happy here. Isn't that funny how you arrive to be somewhere you would never have ever imagined.

My grandmother, my mother's mother was like me. I turned out like her. Everything in her house was a hand me down. She would even bunch up wrapping paper from gifts and put it in her fireplace *as decoration, not to burn. I am not that bad. But I seem to like my precious things. Which to anybody else would be junk.

I have my ceilings!

Happiness can come from tiny small things, or soaring things, like ceilings. It is a gift, is it not, to love what you have, and have what you love. Even if it is wrapping paper from gifts from loved ones.

COPA

 

[Copabanana]

Hi Feeling,

I put in new counters soon after I moved in. I know how expensive they can be. I chose a cheaper option. We bought white marble from China for like $100 for 8 foot lengths. This yucky guy put it in. Horribly. It took years before I made peace with it. Every grease spot and food discolors it. Depending upon what kind of work I do in each part, determines the color it is. Coffee stains badly as does rust. I have learned to like this. Because it is so easily wrecked, I can just go ahead and wreck it more.

Many people from Central America and Mexico that know tile and work work very, very cheaply. Like M. He does beautiful work and charges little. You might have them repaired for not much.

COPA

 

[New Leaf]

Palladium windows?

"A window of large size, characteristic of neoclassic styles, divided by columns or piers resembling pilasters, into three lights, the middle one of which is usually wider than the others, and is sometimes arched."—Dictionary of Architecture and Construction, Cyril M. Harris, ed., McGraw- Hill, 1975, p. 527

 

[New Leaf]

My counter top is yucky. Contractor grade formica, that has seen its day. I am wanting to just replace it, but keep the cabinets, because cabinets are so costly. I like that you have no doors, Copa, because my doors are pressed wood that is yucky, too. I do not have pretty dishes. I would have to get some, the thrift shop is a great place, I like the idea of giving life to something that is still good but another person cast away.
Plus, all of the new stuff is coming out of China, not that good.
Funny, because fine old dishes were called china.....
leafy

 

[Copabanana]

How beautiful. I know Palladium windows.

Thank you.

 

[Copabanana]

I had the contractor build a cabinet up high with my cabinet doors above the range to hide the exhaust duct.

I like this idea. Creating a focal point out of it. Have you seen the kitchens where they put a range surround like an old-fashioned fireplace? I just love that. Like an alcove. I will look for a picture. I would have loved to have that, but it is too late. No more changes.

COPA

 

[Copabanana]

mantel range hood.

That is what they call it. I cannot upload to your thread, Feeling. Or I would have put a picture.

I am going to bed to read my great mystery. I have been heading there for the last 3 hours.

Goodnight.

 

[JMom]

Put up the tree! Keep it up until new years. I finally broke down Christmas eve and sent hubby for one. It's a tiny tree but beautiful to look at. I wasn't feeling too Christmasy either and had to sit through a 3D Star Wars new movie. I'd never seen any of them. I was so tense from stress, I thought I'd throw up. Lol. Then I said well heck just let it go and watch it. I did and fell asleep 3 times. I wasn't bored, just exhausted from my full time job of worry. So I'll make a deal with you- you go get a tree, or a branch, or a leaf...decorate it today!!! And I'll worry for you. I'll be sad for you and your family will think you're nuts. That, my friend, is always a plus. ((Hugs)) JM

 

[Feeling Sad]

I used all of my effort and decorated my tree with my youngest son and his friend...and it did make me feel more 'normal'. I know what you mean, Josh's mom, about our full time job of worrying. I feel quilty,when I put the heater on or sad because I cannot buy him gifts for the first time in 35 years!

I plan to keep it up until after New Year's. I have always gone out with my sons to buy one. This year...my youngest son surprised me with one. I think that it makes him feel better when we are as routine as possible...although my heart is not in it.

I think of it this way...our children, before they had problems, would want us to be happy and not worried or scared.

Then...I tear up because I miss my 'old' son so much!

'Happy', as possible, Holidays!