lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Hi all,
Sorry so long between visits. We have moved and been very busy though I do try and keep up with all through reading.
Well, as fate would have it, young difficult child lost his job the day before Thanksgiving. A week before daughter in law told me of a phone call she received from hospital doctors who were removing a needle stuck in young difficult child's arm. Apparently he tested positive for Meth use.
Then...Thanksgiving day Young difficult child texted me and said, "Goodbye. Forever."
This past Tuesday night young difficult child called me to tell me that he was going to hang himself and told me where "they can find the body". I called 911 and the police pinged his phone and found that he was at his mother in law's with his wife and our grandchildren. They questioned him and his reply was..."I was just trying to get my mother's attention". This may be the first time I can remember calling the police after a suicide threat but this time...He had a plan and that scared me.
I spoke with young difficult child last night and he says he has another job lined up next week but needs a vehicle...a motorcylce will do. He actually thought husband and I would purchase this for him. I told him we were not going to do that...then he want on to tell me that he hasn't recieved a Christmas present from us in the past 3 years. Silly difficult child...I suppose that truck we bought after he got out of prison, the TV, The X Box, Insurance, a Phone...good money after bad. All of that doesn't count.
Young difficult child has nothing to show for the 30K he earned this past year. husband and I did not make him get a title loan last yr on the truck we bought him and then not repay it so his truck was reposessed. husband and I did not pawn away the TV or X box. husband and I did not shoot Meth into his veins. Yet we are still expected to somehow pick up the pieces and support him.
After he told me that we did not give him any presents the past 3 yrs I told him he was not getting any presents from us this yr either. Then I told him I had to go.
He texted me almost immediately...This is what he said,
"I would appreciate you not calling or communicating with me at all. I really need to wash my hands of you all. You are nothing but judgement. You offer no help or support. You're a thorn in my family's side and we just want to be done with you. Save your gifts for my children. We don't want them and go to the casino maybe you'll win big. Just stay out of our lives nobody would even notice the difference. by the way, your adult butt has been getting Christmas gifts since I can remember. Quite frankly you'll probably get treated to the casino. You're selfish self endulged a blight on my family history and I'd rather you go your merry way and I will more than oblige. Merry Christmas now please leave me out of your thoughts, phone calls, or your haphazard reaching out like you like to do on a whim. I'm not interested and would rather have been an orphan, at least then I'd have an excuse for the complete and utter absence of a family. I mean no offense I'm just tired of you all and the rhetoric. It never changes. The only thing that changes is we get older. Mother son relationship Yea right. Keep your gifts I'm serious they aren't welcome."
So this is the thanks husband and I get at the the end of the day, lol. husband and I are So done. We do have to have frequent talks with one another to remind each other of all that we have poured out in the name of helping young difficult child and his family. We have dreams and financial goals for ourselves now and intend on making them a reality.
I think young difficult child is staying once again at his mother in law's home. I know she was out of town this past week and am sure that is why daughter in law let him stay but also equally sure she will insist young difficult child continue to stay.
I am so disappointed in young difficult child and his wife. This has now gone on for 8 yrs and they are no further along than when they started.
Failure to launch. Yep, that seems to be the issue...that and severe drug/alcohol use/abuse.
Young difficult child will be 26 in February. He has a 7 yr old son who is failing in school...The first grade. Teachers say he is struggling to concentrate, can't focus. Is it any wonder, really? So sad.
husband wanted to start taking grandson to the bowling alley with him beginning this Sunday. He had even called daughter in law this past Sunday and asked if it would be okay for him to pick up grandson. Sigh...Young difficult child uses his children too. So very sad that they are used against us when he is not getting his way.
He is right in one respect...Nothing changes, just getting older.
But husband and I are determined to stay on our own path and finish our own journey. Have been enjoying the new saying around here..."Not my circus not my monkey!" It's so true.
On another note...Oldest difficult child called husband this past week, drunk. Apparently he had wrecked his new truck and was "singing the blues" Even tellling husband at one point that he was ready for the Lord to take him home. He sounds depressed. All I can do is pray.
Have all the grandchildren's presents wrapped and ready to be delivered.
I wish their difficult child father's would get it together. Certainly oldest difficult child has much more on his plate and has been meeting his responsibilities for several yrs now...so he has more to lose so to speak if he doesn't bounce back.
As for young difficult child, we are done. There is no more. He has used us for all he can. I'm afraid all we are to him anymore is money anyway. But as they say..."It takes what it takes". We did not arrive at these conclusions over night. It has taken yrs for us to see how much of our own blood sweat and tears...time energy and money we have poured into them only to be kicked in the teeth at the end of the day. Damned if we do and damned if we don't...so now...we don't.
I hope you all are enjoying your own lives despite your difficult child's situations.
There really is more of a plan and purpose for our lives than to be used by drug addicts/alcoholics. And when our grown children reach the age of 25/26 and have children of their own they are not supporting...It truly is time to be done.
Got to stay strong,
Love,
LMS
Sorry so long between visits. We have moved and been very busy though I do try and keep up with all through reading.
Well, as fate would have it, young difficult child lost his job the day before Thanksgiving. A week before daughter in law told me of a phone call she received from hospital doctors who were removing a needle stuck in young difficult child's arm. Apparently he tested positive for Meth use.
Then...Thanksgiving day Young difficult child texted me and said, "Goodbye. Forever."
This past Tuesday night young difficult child called me to tell me that he was going to hang himself and told me where "they can find the body". I called 911 and the police pinged his phone and found that he was at his mother in law's with his wife and our grandchildren. They questioned him and his reply was..."I was just trying to get my mother's attention". This may be the first time I can remember calling the police after a suicide threat but this time...He had a plan and that scared me.
I spoke with young difficult child last night and he says he has another job lined up next week but needs a vehicle...a motorcylce will do. He actually thought husband and I would purchase this for him. I told him we were not going to do that...then he want on to tell me that he hasn't recieved a Christmas present from us in the past 3 years. Silly difficult child...I suppose that truck we bought after he got out of prison, the TV, The X Box, Insurance, a Phone...good money after bad. All of that doesn't count.
Young difficult child has nothing to show for the 30K he earned this past year. husband and I did not make him get a title loan last yr on the truck we bought him and then not repay it so his truck was reposessed. husband and I did not pawn away the TV or X box. husband and I did not shoot Meth into his veins. Yet we are still expected to somehow pick up the pieces and support him.
After he told me that we did not give him any presents the past 3 yrs I told him he was not getting any presents from us this yr either. Then I told him I had to go.
He texted me almost immediately...This is what he said,
"I would appreciate you not calling or communicating with me at all. I really need to wash my hands of you all. You are nothing but judgement. You offer no help or support. You're a thorn in my family's side and we just want to be done with you. Save your gifts for my children. We don't want them and go to the casino maybe you'll win big. Just stay out of our lives nobody would even notice the difference. by the way, your adult butt has been getting Christmas gifts since I can remember. Quite frankly you'll probably get treated to the casino. You're selfish self endulged a blight on my family history and I'd rather you go your merry way and I will more than oblige. Merry Christmas now please leave me out of your thoughts, phone calls, or your haphazard reaching out like you like to do on a whim. I'm not interested and would rather have been an orphan, at least then I'd have an excuse for the complete and utter absence of a family. I mean no offense I'm just tired of you all and the rhetoric. It never changes. The only thing that changes is we get older. Mother son relationship Yea right. Keep your gifts I'm serious they aren't welcome."
So this is the thanks husband and I get at the the end of the day, lol. husband and I are So done. We do have to have frequent talks with one another to remind each other of all that we have poured out in the name of helping young difficult child and his family. We have dreams and financial goals for ourselves now and intend on making them a reality.
I think young difficult child is staying once again at his mother in law's home. I know she was out of town this past week and am sure that is why daughter in law let him stay but also equally sure she will insist young difficult child continue to stay.
I am so disappointed in young difficult child and his wife. This has now gone on for 8 yrs and they are no further along than when they started.
Failure to launch. Yep, that seems to be the issue...that and severe drug/alcohol use/abuse.
Young difficult child will be 26 in February. He has a 7 yr old son who is failing in school...The first grade. Teachers say he is struggling to concentrate, can't focus. Is it any wonder, really? So sad.
husband wanted to start taking grandson to the bowling alley with him beginning this Sunday. He had even called daughter in law this past Sunday and asked if it would be okay for him to pick up grandson. Sigh...Young difficult child uses his children too. So very sad that they are used against us when he is not getting his way.
He is right in one respect...Nothing changes, just getting older.
But husband and I are determined to stay on our own path and finish our own journey. Have been enjoying the new saying around here..."Not my circus not my monkey!" It's so true.
On another note...Oldest difficult child called husband this past week, drunk. Apparently he had wrecked his new truck and was "singing the blues" Even tellling husband at one point that he was ready for the Lord to take him home. He sounds depressed. All I can do is pray.
Have all the grandchildren's presents wrapped and ready to be delivered.
I wish their difficult child father's would get it together. Certainly oldest difficult child has much more on his plate and has been meeting his responsibilities for several yrs now...so he has more to lose so to speak if he doesn't bounce back.
As for young difficult child, we are done. There is no more. He has used us for all he can. I'm afraid all we are to him anymore is money anyway. But as they say..."It takes what it takes". We did not arrive at these conclusions over night. It has taken yrs for us to see how much of our own blood sweat and tears...time energy and money we have poured into them only to be kicked in the teeth at the end of the day. Damned if we do and damned if we don't...so now...we don't.
I hope you all are enjoying your own lives despite your difficult child's situations.
There really is more of a plan and purpose for our lives than to be used by drug addicts/alcoholics. And when our grown children reach the age of 25/26 and have children of their own they are not supporting...It truly is time to be done.
Got to stay strong,
Love,
LMS