I bought my kid a tent today, he's homeless.

[JMom]

Update : my son has been at the camp now for a couple of months. I was seeing him every 4 days, picking him up to come home and shower. He looks better, dirty but not drugged up. He spent the last two weekends with us. He's sleeping now. Man, this is weird.

He's clean. He admits that he drinks o n occasion but most of his stories are about how he sees what drugs do to people. He has to stay sober because he's caretaking for his friend at camp. His friend does meth and does very dangerous thinks...like walking Into a creek at night because he didn't see it. He is now seeing what it looks like to be on drugs.

I'm not being delusional...I know he's probably not 100% sober, but it's like he is maturing over night. I'm shaking my head. I don't get it. I want to breathe a sigh of relief, but don't want to exhale too soon. You all helped me through a very dark period and I am forever greatful.

I'm here to look at other posts and I get to be the strong one hopefully for a newbie. I'm finishing my codependent no more today so I can send it to a friend starting this journey.

It feels strange but I wanted to say I lo very you guys! If I knew you and wS wealthy, I'd send you all flowers!!! ♡♡Jmom

 

[New Leaf]

Hey JMom, it is good to hear from you.

He's clean. He admits that he drinks o n occasion but most of his stories are about how he sees what drugs do to people. He has to stay sober because he's caretaking for his friend at camp. His friend does meth and does very dangerous thinks...like walking Into a creek at night because he didn't see it. He is now seeing what it looks like to be on drugs.

Wow, oh wow. This is great news. You may have discovered a new way of rehab......I hope it sticks and that your son stays on a path to sobriety. Prayers said, fingers and toes crossed! Thank you for sharing.

I am so glad you checked in, I have been wondering how you were doing. Love you too, JMom, you are a terrific person, your heart shines through your posts.
I am not rich either, so I will give you this..... keep your candle lit and come back and post. It is nice to hear good news!


leafy

 

[JMom]

Aweeee, you always bring tears to my eyes with your sweet posts!!!

 

[Albatross]

This is great news, JMom! It is always wonderful to see positive posts. I am so glad that he found someone/something to care enough about to want to straighten up. He sounds like he is a sweet kid. It is pretty cool, how grace and inspiration sometimes comes from the most unlikely sources.

 

[TheWalrus]

JMom -

It was your very first post that helped this "newbie," bringing me to tears. For me, I can sit back and objectively look at others' situations and see what seems obvious, because I am not emotionally invested. It is very cathartic. And when my own situation is overwhelming and I get wrapped up in the fear, guilt, obligation, shame...others come in, gently reminding me and pointing out the things I cannot see because I am too close to it, too emotionally invested, too hurt, too afraid. They guide me back to a safe place of thinking, feeling, and action without reacting to my mother instinct and continuing the cycle of rescue-hope-disappointment-pain that has been my life for a very long time. This place has been a lifeline for me, and you threw out the first one without even knowing it.

 

[JMom]

Thanks walrus, now I'm bawling! Happy tears. I never would've thought any good could come of this. I keep wanting it to count. Throwing lifelines to a fellow hurt mom counts. Sniffle, smile sniffle

 

[Tanya M]

I'm not being delusional...I know he's probably not 100% sober, but it's like he is maturing over night.

You are optimistically guarded and that is a good place to be. We always want to have hope that our d_cs will turn things around but we have to temper that with realism.

Thank you for sharing. It's nice to hear some positives.

 

[Copabanana]

I want to breathe a sigh of relief, but don't want to exhale too soon.

Mom, I am so glad that the crisis part of this is over.

Such a sweet, kind young man, your son. A good person. Like you. I feel the great love between you and how much at the heart of him, he is like you.

He will find himself. In the heart of them, they are us.

I hope you stay with us and keep posting.

Take care.

COPA

 

[Kalahou]

You are optimistically guarded and that is a good place to be. We always want to have hope that our d_cs will turn things around but we have to temper that with realism.

Thank you JMom. This update / news is encouragement and brings hope. Stay strong. I'm uplifting with you and that this upward trend continues. Bless.

 

[Kalahou]

He will find himself. In the heart of them, they are us.

Copa, Thank you for this thought. This is my new mini-prayer today, as I continue to uplift my own son in jail right now.
Mahalo. ~K

 

[JMom]

My boy tested negative today for drugs. HE asked me to test him. I said you do realize if it's positive I get to throat punch you? He said "deal".

On another note, I had a call from someone in the beginning of a similar journey. I was reminded how far we've come and all that we've been through, we're still standing tall.

It felt like all of this counted for something, to be able to be strong and comfort another hurting, fearful mother.

Thanks to my fellow warriors, soldier on!

 

[detachingmother]

I love the tent idea. If it was warm where we live, that would have been one thing I would have tried. It's freezing though, in the winter, and that's when he's the worst.

I'm happy to hear someone's boy is doing better.

 

[JMom]

Crazy update:!!!!

My son has made leaps and bounds. He's sober and did it all in his time on his terms. He has matured so much in 3 months. My husband and I wrote up a contract to allow him home with a job and community college, that he splits the cost. Fingers crossed. He's 21 and has a chance to turn it around.

Our hope is that he accepts and continues to mature and start a new healthier life. If not, it will just be a different ending to his own story. He's the author of this story and God the ultimate authority in what happens with son's free will.

Please pray for this kid to stay strong and use this opportunity to grow. Love you all, hugs and have a great day.

 

[AppleCori]

Hi J.

Wow, sounds like a great update!

I am hoping that it goes well!

Stay with us, J, and keep us updated.

Apple

 

[JMom]

I couldn't find him to offer him to come home. My pessimistic heart said, oh crap he's using.....nope.
..
Then I get a message from a homeless outreach group that says hey mom it's J- ...

My phone broke but this group is helping me file for homeless status and they are paying for my school because I'm testing negative for drugs when they come to the camp.ill jeep ypu updated.

Speachless....

 

[4now]

Love it!

 

[InsaneCdn]

I couldn't find him to offer him to come home

My phone broke but this group is helping me file for homeless status and they are paying for my school because I'm testing negative for drugs

When they want to go in the right direction it is amazing what they can accomplish... without our intervention. He is doing well, all on his own - well, with a little outside help from others, but it's not you. He will come through this.

 

[RN0441]

JMom you are an inspiration to me! I love how you let go with LOVE.

I am so happy to hear your son is doing well on his own and I pray that continues. My son is about the same age and I PRAY that he gets on track soon. We are struggling.

 

[JMom]

Rn, it sometimes gets a lot worse before it gets better, but keep your head up. Sometimes there are actually some bright shiny moments!

I understand the struggle and am here for you :0)

 

[JMom]

I'm going to add a few comments to this post. They are my own from other threads....I'm writing a book and want to gather my thoughts...


It was such a strange irony that just last year he was sitting in a high school classroom having to raise his hand for permission to go to the bathroom, and now expected to be a man and all that it entails.

My son started smoking weed around 14 and progressed to meth in the last 2 years. The day I bought him a tent (he chose homelessness over rehab) I went home and wrapped Christmas presents for my two youngest. I was so hurt, a slave to fear.

I want to give you hope. He turned 21, in a tent, with new friends, all addicts.

Fast forward to today. He has been sober since the day his dad and I showed up with the tent. He spent Christmas, New Years and his birthday in a small tent city, panhandling for food.

I drug tested him and he passed. He hasn't asked for anything except a meal or two. Today my husband and I wrote up a contract to bring him home, if he chooses.

He has matured so much in the last 3 months, got sober on his own. He has no idea that he has gained back our trust, optimistic, yet guarded.

Today is a good day.