I can't do this....

[pasajes4]

 

[Childofmine]

Whoo hoo! Tremendous progress! Enjoy the heck out of it today! So glad...

 

[Copabanana]

Yeah Lil, Jabber and SON!

 

[Lil]

He said he liked it. I don't actually care so long as he keeps going.

 

[pasajes4]

My nephew started working at a grocery store as a bagger when he was in high school. He still works for the same grocery chain as a manager. The grocery business is one of the few that it is still possible to work your way up from the bottom without a college degree. Who knows this may be his niche.

 

[Lil]

Today he goes in at 2 and will have to take a bus...so we'll see if he's on time. They put him in the deli, since he has restaurant experience I'd imagine and can run the slicers. He said those are all just like Arby's...so he knows what to do. He had worked at another grocery store for 2 or 3 days in the deli and liked it...that's when he had freaked out over Job Corps and quit. So basically all he did yesterday was learn the chicken fryers. He said this Deli was smaller and more efficient, but otherwise pretty much the same job. We'll see.

 

[RN0441]

I really hope he sticks with it Lil. I know you hope that more than anything too.

My son's longest job has been almost 4 months. If he could ever get to 12 months someplace it would be a miracle.

 

[mof]

Yes and no. You know my thoughts on the matter honey. I agree with GN, I think that he is manipulating you. My thoughts on this is that if he threatens suicide, we react accordingly. When July 1st comes, we stick to the plan and kick him out. If we pay July's rent for him, other issues will come up. He's still unemployed so wont have food, wont have cigarettes (yeah, I know), wont have anything but what we give him.

IF, IF, he manages to get even part time work, he might be able to pay the rent but will be calling us constantly about food, cigarettes, rides, etc... I'm sorry honey but I see no reason to help someone who doesn't want help, they want to be coddled and taken care of. Doesn't mean I wont discuss options with you, just doubt seriously that they will help.
He's lived with us rent free for two and a half months and hasn't done anything to help himself. What good will buying another month do?

I'd almost rather he stayed with us instead of paying the rent for him. Almost. Haven't decided yet if its worth $400 to have him out of the house for a bit.

 

[mof]

I am crying for you. Does his counselors agree he should live alone? My son wouldn't know a true friend if tripped over one.

I'd pay 400....hello, were paying 1250.00...He's safe, sober and praying he will grow. I am right now feel like I'm dying inside a bit everyday though.....I know things could be worse but tired.....

Praying for your heart.

 

[Lil]

I am crying for you. Does his counselors agree he should live alone? My son wouldn't know a true friend if tripped over one.

I'd pay 400....hello, were paying 1250.00...He's safe, sober and praying he will grow. I am right now feel like I'm dying inside a bit everyday though.....I know things could be worse but tired.....

Praying for your heart.

Aw thank you! If you kept reading after this, you probably saw what we decided. He was given 3 choices, 1. Stay and find work and a number of other conditions. 2. IF he had a job by 7/5, we'd pay the $400. 3. There's the door. When he didn't have a job by 7/1 he took option 1 and, as it turned out, he got a job 7/4. But by then he'd decided that option 1 was best.

No one has ever suggested he shouldn't live alone, except him. He's the one who says he can't earn enough and that he'll be miserable without at least a roommate. But at the moment, that's all academic.

Plusses: He LOVES his new job. Every day he says he loves it. Mostly because it's the easiest job he's ever had. He caught on very quickly and thinks the managers are pleased with him. He's getting 30+ hours per week, a gross of around $1,000 per month on a 4-week month, which is more than he's ever earned too. So far so good. And he's FINALLY made arrangements to start doing his community service. I haven't made any therapy appointments, because I don't want to push too hard and have him melt down and quit work or community service.

Negatives: He is talking about trying to get back with the ex girlfriend and move to where she lives, which is more expensive, and her family hates him plus he'd be quitting yet another job unless he could transfer to the same chain store down there. He still moody and is still hanging out with his loser friends, although working mostly evenings to 9 will stop some of that, and he's meeting new people. His immediate manager there is only about 25 and as he says, "pretty cool".

I remain cautiously optimistic.

 

[Scent of Cedar *]

Plusses: He LOVES his new job. Every day he says he loves it. Mostly because it's the easiest job he's ever had. He caught on very quickly and thinks the managers are pleased with him. He's getting 30+ hours per week, a gross of around $1,000 per month on a 4-week month, which is more than he's ever earned too. So far so good. And he's FINALLY made arrangements to start doing his community service. I haven't made any therapy appointments, because I don't want to push too hard and have him melt down and quit work or community service.

I've missed a few days, and came on to catch up and just look at this wonderful news! I am very happy for all of you. You never know, Lil. If he gets a taste of working a job he likes and where they like him, money, stability...Lil, this part could be over. With all my heart, that is my prayer for you and Jabber.

What great news!

Cedar

 

[Lil]

Thank Cedar. I admit, I'm hoping the paychecks will make him see why you work, even after he saves a majority of it. He is off today and so went out with a friend last night and I Facebook snooped (ran across his post where they talked about going to play pool and checked her page) and one of her latest posts was about her new waitressing job and how much she liked it. He posted his job, with a picture in his uniform, and also said his was great. Then a 3rd person had posted, "Hooray for Employment!" It was pretty amusing. Nice change of pace from the usual postings I see from kids this age.