I can't do this....

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Lil, Jun 21, 2016.

  1. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Yay!:encouragement: Prayers going up he is hired.
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    :cheerleader:I will add my positive thoughts for a positive outcome.
  3. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Prayers he is hired and won't quit. :)
  4. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Your lips to God's ears ladies...or fingers to eyes on this case. :)
  5. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    It's a process, I think, just like me with my work. I seem to have a success and in some way undermine it. How is your son different, Lil and Jabber? Except that we have our heart between our teeth. Or maybe theirs.

    Son will get the job, I think, and at some point he will quit or be fired. He has already proven he can get a job and hold it. Many times. What he has not yet decided to do--is keep working.

    I did not read the update post yet where you describe the circumstances (my internet is way, way slowed down--and it will not load). I give your son credit. He could so easily "accept" your offer and then undermine everything, or most of it. So much progress is being made, by all.
  6. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Well dropped him off for the interview. Even in his dress clothes he looks like a pile of laundry. :( He overslept and was in a half-tantrum this morning. He has a grand total of $30 left of his $100...blew $60 in one night. :( I don't like my son much right now.
  7. Ironbutterfly

    Ironbutterfly If focused on a single leaf you won't see the tree

    Oh I have so been there. We love them but always don't like them. Wishing him luck.
  8. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    Well, he got the job. Not sure what section of the store as they were hiring for a lot of different areas. He has paperwork to fill out and return later today. Now its just a matter of how long he can keep it.
  9. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    Praying and hoping for the best for your kid....
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  10. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I hope he works hard, keeps his mouth shut, and holds on to the job. I got the best of my jobs wearing mismatched shoes to the final meeting with the director, the man who would be my immediate supervisor, and the VP of Information Technology.
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  11. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Well my fingers are crossed but I won't hold my breath. I've decided not to brag or get my hopes up. Seems like every time I do things go badly.

    He always looks like he's wearing his fathers clothes. A size too big and wrinkled. He's a handsome boy, except those teeth. But takes no pride in his appearance.

    But the job is found. Now to get the other stuff done.
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2016
  12. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    One day at a time.
  13. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member


    What is the plan now: Is he moving out, staying? How much longer will he stay? What is the deal with the apartment, now? Will he do any part of the things you requested of him? The evaluation or therapy? I hope so.
  14. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I'm hoping they assign him to stocking or warehouse work. Something requiring both thought and physical exertion.

    If he's tired out when he gets off of work, maybe he won't feel like hanging out and smoking weed.
  15. Childofmine

    Childofmine one day at a time

    Progress not perfection. He got a job. Let's just stop and celebrate that for a minute. Fantastic progress compared with where he was yesterday...last week...last month.

    Another chance to turn, and go in a new direction.

    We never know when the "magic" is going to start taking. Maybe it's THIS time. Maybe next time.

    You two are really giving him every possible method of support here. I hope he can grasp onto that and make something good happen next.

    Happy Fourth!
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  16. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I hope so too. He did say he'd do the evaluation; I need to schedule that. Short of that, his therapist is back from Maui on the 18th...he could go back to her. I would prefer he have a real evaluation, but setting that up...and now working around a work schedule...us up to me. So I have to have his schedule to try to schedule around.

    As for moving out, the plan is he give us 1/2 his paychecks or all but $100 ever two weeks, whichever is more. We will save that and, hopefully in about 10 weeks, he will have enough saved to move out and we'll start helping him look for a place. Given his credit and lack of work history...might take some doing.

    Not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but apparently he's talking to the ex who moved home to Daddy and they're thinking of trying again. But where she lives, not here. It could be good in that he will rid himself of all his stoner friends. It could be bad in that her father LOATHES him...and who could blame him? Also, the cost of living is much higher there and the jobs further and farther between. She works at McDonald's and loves her job, which pays very well. (Next to a major theme park) But the towns are tiny in the surrounding area, rents are high, and there's a transportation problem...her stepmother takes her to work.

    But that's a long way off. One thing at a time.
  17. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Oh dear. The last I heard, he was indifferent when she left, and she was less than pleased, too.
    Oh my. How much control do you have? Over any of it.
  18. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Seeing as he's at least 18, neither Lil, nor Jabber have real control over whom he dates or where he does it. The only real control they have is whether or not he lives in their home and that is a matter of contingencies being met.
  19. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Yeah...no. We have no control over this.

    But as to being indifferent...I don't think so. In fact, I now think that was a major reason why he quit his job, etc. He has said he didn't break up with her because he wanted to...but because he knew how unhappy she was and he couldn't take her being so unhappy. I think that she moved away from a job she liked, and her home and all her friends and she's 18...she expected love and romance and to play house, not be broke and have his buddy move in (granted, she didn't say she didn't want that...the idea of everyone being able to just work part time appealed to her too) but she spent all the money she'd saved and she just felt all alone here.

    Anyway...it's a long way off. We'll see.
  20. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Lil. You are such a sweet and loving woman. And Jabber, such a good and decent man. What gets lost in the noise, I think, is that your son has the same qualities. I wonder if this is true for most of our kids.