Hi New LeafHoku is talking about the possibility of taking baby.
You sound better today. I can really see how you would feel ambivalent about this new development. Concern for Hoku, the responsibility and the dynamics that could be unleashed with Tornado; and at the same time, relief.
The one thing I urge you to tell Hoku is that her rights and the rights of the baby are legally protected. I would go to a family lawyer if it was me. I recognize that Tornado has parental rights, and there is family reunification, but I believe that Tornado can CHOOSE to relinquish her parental rights, legally, without recourse to getting him back, or only in limited, highly defined circumstances, for example, an extended period of time clean of drugs, self-supporting, stable, etc.
But the thing is, Hoku will be the only mother this baby would have known. To yank him sometime in the hypothetical future would be very emotionally damaging to the baby, Hoku, and her family. To my way of thinking, the only way I would consider it is if Tornado relinquishes parental rights and possibly, even rights to visitation. I take such a strong stand because Tornado has not been shown to consider the emotional wellbeing of anybody. Again, I am not blaming her. It just seems to be a fact, that must be considered.
The welfare and stability of this baby have to be paramount. And the emotional safety of Hoku and her family.
The Child Protective Services people will not be thinking of either Hoku or the baby, first and foremost. They will be thinking about their convenience. Where to put the baby to preserve their options. I am sorry to be so cynical. But they are not thinking of Hoku. She is a means to the end.
Maybe I am wrong. I hope I am wrong.
I would love it if the baby went to Hoku. It would be so wonderful for the baby and for Tornado's other children, and for you. But only if everybody is protected and secure. Legally protected.