Great news that you are retiring soon! I cannot wait for that day also but hate to wish my life away.
That’s what motivated me to make this move, with the uncertainty of this pandemic, coupled with stresses in my life, I just knew I had to find a way to simplify. It is not the best decision financially speaking, but I shall just have to budget more carefully. It is time that I am focused on and quality of life.
Obviously Tornado still not thinking straight and not thinking about others including new baby and yes she needs to let him go. Not fair to him or anyone. I'm sure in time he will settle in. He has been through a lot in his four months on this earth.
I am coming round to being thankful that we were able to see the part of her that I wish to remember. When sober, she can be a good mother. I am working on being grateful for that glimpse, those few moments. Unfortunately, the draw of street life overcame those latent instincts of nurturing. Impulsive behavior is a hallmark of meth, and I am wondering if she fell off the wagon in rehab. She told me one time that drugs are everywhere, even in rehab, so one can only wonder. But, my focus has to switch to helping my granddaughter recover this latest blow, and supporting Hoku however I can. Baby is settling a little more each day, and they are learning how to calm him. There is no middle ground, he goes from zero to ten. They have to figure out his needs before he reacts. That is part of his prenatal drug exposure, as well as the separation. Hopefully in time, he will know that his needs will be met and be a bit calmer. When he is not stressed, he is quite the engaging little soul, cooing, babbling and smiling. That’s a good sign.
Wasn't your grandson living with you or your son? Can't remember...how is he doing?
Two summers ago, I became the caregiver for my three grands, two teenaged boys and my granddaughter. My son was dorming at the university. The boys were okay at first, but the trauma they endured put a dark cloud over the house. I could not help them. It’s a long story, but that ended up with a paternal aunt who along with her boyfriend have been able to help the boys process and grow. My granddaughter decided to stay with me, and I am her legal guardian after a year of non involvement from Tornado and her father. It’s been a long road, there is still much to do to help these young adults find themselves through the pain. When their mother advanced in rehab, they were given a choice to visit and they saw her for the first time in five years. While they were happy to visit with her and baby, that definitely triggered them. With this development, they are struggling again to readjust. That’s where my anger flares, that their hopes are once again dashed. But, as we all know, addiction rears it’s ugly head and it is our job to understand the machinations of it, and not go down the rabbit hole. Son has been back at home since Covid hit. He is doing well.
Thank you RN for following along. I hope your son continues to make progress!
Just want to say I'm here and reading along and hope new laptop comes soon. I'll write at length then.
Oh no Copa, another computer glitch! Thank you for being here despite that. I have issues keyboarding on my cell, but check in at work sometimes so have learned to be patient with myself.
I feel so bad for the baby's discomfiture and distress, for you, your granddaughter and Hoku. I am mad at tornado.
Me too, Copa. Although I want Tornado to apply herself with services, I can’t help but think this baby has a far better chance at life where he is. God forgive me. It seems drug addicted mother’s are given so many chances to pull it together for “the baby’s sake”, but really, how much do children have to suffer? I would think that a positive test for prenatal drug use would be a clear indication of what’s down the road. The fact that a child suffers health risks and damage before birth is so wrong on so many counts already. Then, what capacity does an addicted mother have to deal with the extra nurturing these babies need as well as developmental delays?
So much suffering. I just don't know what to say.
It is a sad reality.
It's like everybody is left to suffer and pick up the pieces. Everybody is left In pieces and broken. Having to mend. Innocents all of you. Just Innocents left in her wake because you love her and her children. I am so sorry new leaf. Much love, Copa
It is okay Copa, we will get through this, we have to. I am feeling a bit better about my resolve not to house Tornado. I think my voice of reason was correct to override the emotional “rescue” voice from my heart. A lot of my acceptance has to do with Hoku embracing her nephew, the comfort in knowing he will be well cared for with family is immeasurable. That coupled with the days slipping by that Tornado continues to stay off the radar is indicative to me that we would have been faced with chaos in my home if I had chosen to take Tornado in. It still hurts, but I have to move from the pain of it, to proactively helping my grands cope.
It is the weekend and there is much to do. I thank you so much for your support. It has once again helped me tremendously to ride out this latest storm.
Much love,
New Leaf
