Thanks ladies. The kids are fine---they are old enough and have lived through this enough that they all have good heads on their shoulders. PCdaughter did ask husband if he would be willing to walk her down the aisle in September if her father is unable to get and keep himself clean. difficult child is okay---apparently had a moment this morning. Ex is taking out the brunt of his koi on him, but the two of them are always rubbing the other the wrong way. PCson is too busy raising his children and living his life to be too concerned. He is 2 1/2 hours away so he is not stuck in the midst of the mess like the other two.
Trust me when I say Divorce does not make the problem go away. I'm just removed from the situation enough that it doesn't effect me personally, but I feel for the kids---no child should have to clean up a parent's mess!!!