Squatters

[BusynMember1]

As I read this I realize that due to these crazy laws we dodged a few bullets. We bought a rental house and mobile home for Kay and Lee. The only thing I can think of that kept out squatters is that Lee and Kay were filthy and sound mean and scary and both have guns. And Kay can shoot her gun! I am sure she would flash it to anyone who tried to break in. Her having a gun.used to terrify us..

Also, Kay did not work and was always home with that gun. Honestly, where we got the home, it was in a so-so neighborhood with enough homeless and drug abuse to worry us. We had not thought of squatters though.

I am shocked, astonished and flabbergasted that anyone would have to pay a squatter to move out of his/her own home. That's like stealing your home and getting a prize for.it. If they broke into the house, stole our things but did not squat, they would be arrested! Why is this so different and crazy???

Nomad, this is so unfair. On top of the idiocy of the laws, your daughter is not even really capable of caring for herself, but nobody cares that these monsters are using her. Trust me, Kay can't take care of herself either, gun or.not. She has been evicted over and over again...this world is now insane. Why did these laws even happen???

I will pray for you as you deal with this nightmare. I wish I could do more.

 

[RN0441]

Please let us know what is going on Nomad. Thinking about you and this terrible situation.

Know this is difficult, but it WILL work out. You're in the thick of it now. It will work out...it will end....

 

[Nomad]

Busy…your daughter sounds very similar to mine. But our daughter is usually nice to people. But can absolutely get mean.

He doesn’t seem to be on probation. Haven’t checked her yet.

They will get notice probably/likely tomorrow. Possibly Wednesday. Both via mail and process server. It’s a five day notice that we are evicting. Giving them five dee we ys yo leave I guess you might say voluntarily. They will not leave as they are homeless snd know they can likely milk this fir many weeks. The law protects them. It’s sick.

Believe it or not, a week ago, this county has a next step of Case Management . That is so new, they (attorney office) aren’t sure of the details. It costs us hundreds of dollars extra and is required.

There is a small chance it could get settled then. It’s new and seems not well in place or possibly enforced. Much confusion. ??? He could try to ask for us to pay him. It’s insane. They have zero right to be there. We are trying to get clarification.

If somehow it gets past this step…and it would not be much of a surprise if it does…the eviction goes forward and the courts are backed up and it could take 4-5 weeks. No one has the slightest doubt that he won’t appeal it even though he literally will not have any grounds. You don’t need grounds. No one has the slightest doubt we will win. ALL the attorneys said we will win. It’s clear cut. Black and white. But..wth?

Please pray that this new Case management situation has some legal legs and helps us.

Trying to find out more.

Daughter shows little to no remorse and little comprehension or care of the hell we are going through.

She sent a text to our son saying something weird and concerning like we are dead and in heaven. He was alarmed snd we met with him. He is in shock.

 

[Copabanana]

Nomad. What's going on?

 

[Nomad]

They might get their notices tiday, but more likely tomorriw. Bith by mail and process server.

This:

“Believe it or not, a week ago, this county has a next step of Case Management . That is so new, they (attorney office) aren’t sure of the details. It costs us hundreds of dollars extra and is required.”

This very new “Case Management” step has ended up being weird. We called the local government office associated with this new Case Management step and they literally told us it hasn’t started just yet. Apparently the people answering the phone have no clue what they are doing. Geez.

We checked back with the attorney’s office (a large group with a great reputation…but communication seems limited) to see what is expected at the Case Management snd I they assured us it HAS just started and they’ve done three already. But I got back some rubber stamp reply from the Secretary essentially saying she doesn’t know what it’s all about as it’s very new amd an attorney will call at least a few days before.

We suspect we might be expected to negotiate an offer with these guys (holy cow…freakishly unfair) to get them out fast to avoid the much longer eviction process. They could try to say /demand just about anything.

Our daughter has continued to show little to no remorse and is acting sarcastic and mean…particularly toward me.

My husband uninvited her for Christmas. It’s horribly sad.

 

[RN0441]

What does your son say about all this? Are they related?

I think uninviting her is a good idea. It's about time that YOUR whole life isn't about HER anymore.

 

[Copabanana]

We suspect we might be expected to negotiate an offer with these guys (holy cow…freakishly unfair) to get them out fast to avoid the much longer eviction process. They could try to say /demand just about anything.

Right now, I don't think it's about fair, it's about expediency and cutting your losses.

Except I will say this: How is it right that the government incentivizes hostile takeovers of somebody's private property by criminals, encouraging extortion and abuse? There was no negligence or wrongdoing on your part at all. Your daughter lied to you and deceived you and encouraged others to do so too.

Your daughter has caused this all the way around. She has incentivized and enabled these criminals abuse of you and your property. And she seems to be showing little or no understanding of her role in this, or regret.

I don't feel sad for your daughter. I feel sad for you.

 

[Nomad]

Our son is our bio child. One of my autoimmune illnesses flared super bad during the pregnancy and it was extremely difficult. My doctor told me it wouldn’t be fair to our infant son fir me to get pregnant again and even risk dying.
So, we adopted our second child.

Our son says to pull back significantly. We agreed to pay for her cell phone snd do little else. The very very barest minimum of support or contact.

He said she betrayed us beyond his wildest dreams. That we are too old to be going through this amount of stress. He says that he has some concerns for her well being …but hopefully she will pull through. That it is imperative that we pull back significantly and permanently. He is very concerned fri us, particularly my husband who is beyond retirement age. We agree with all he said. He is shocked out if his mind as we are too.

There is so much emotional pain here I don’t even know where to begin.

 

[Copabanana]

we are too old to be going through this amount of stress. He says that he has some concerns for her well being …but hopefully she will pull through. That it is imperative that we pull back significantly and permanently

Nomad. You and your husband have gone above and beyond for your daughter. No matter how impossibly she behaved, you worked with her. She did get better in some ways, over time. (I am thinking back years ago to that horrible Christmas trip involving the train, to visit relatives. OMG. That is engraved in my head. I am somehow remembering some highly irregular article of clothing.

But you always stayed in the game with her. You and your husband have been so loving and so caring.

She qualifies for Section 8 housing. She could work with the SSI case manager to set up a caretaking plan, and she could get a low rent subsidized apartment. I don't even think it's the best idea for your husband to remain her payee. That in itself is stressful. You used the word entitlement in one of your posts. I think she takes all of this help as her due and is not grateful. Why keep the ties with the payee-relationship? There are volunteer payees that are trained and supervised by Social Security. There is no cost to have one. What is in it for anybody for your husband to have a role where she can direct abuse and conflict his way? *And your way?

There are only two possible outcomes I see. One, she stays the same, and you've got to cut your losses. Two, she learns that there is reciprocity in life and if over and over again you mistreat people who help you and love you and feel responsible to help you--eventually they will move out of your life, to protect themselves. This is a lesson she needs to learn.

Unfortunately, she seems like she is acting loony with comments like she made to your son. But I think in her way she's a survivor.
Nomad. We are obligated to protect ourselves. I think that might even be in the bible! Our children have to learn to treat us better!

You can't live with this kind of stress! You know that. None of us can!

 

[momrx3]

Thank you BOTH very much.
I sense much truth in your posts.
Busy day with phone calls and I’ve had tremendous insomnia and am moving slowly.
The man squatter we found out has a long rap sheet of misdemeanors and felonies.
He stole her cash cards and made what looks like one purchase.
Daughter cancelled the cards.
Daughter is staying with a friend.
The President of the HOA called us and told us WE are in violation of the HOA rules having them there.
We are trying to give him (squatter) some money to leave soon. Not sure if that will happen. The person is on line to start the eviction process very soon.
Daughter apologized but we greatly sensed it was not genuine.
She is staying with a friend who has a tiny home and many deep personal issues of her own. Greatly doubt our daughter appreciates the sacrifice her friend is making on her behalf.
We have cancelled her birthday celebration and will likely cancel Xmas with her too. Nothing to celebrate when you e been so clearly lied to and disrespected.
She absolutely MUST agree to a weekly visit by a social worker to her place snd some other things or she will not be allowed back and her life will likely be very bad for her.
What’s happening now isn’t working.
And we are “done.” Operating on fumes.
I hope she makes the right decision, but I can’t make it fir her.
Busy…can I pm you?
Thank you again

If there is a lease then they can not legally stay there. I am pretty sure that can be a way to remove them quicker. Also if your daughter is on medication for mental illness and has a disability, maybe you can use that to get them out. If the place is in your name and you did not agree to let them live there. I know this sounds mean but maybe she should get an apartment for based on her income in like an assisted community for people with mental illness. I know I am in my 50s and so is my husband and we have been round the block and back over my oldest son, he has about bankrupted us and definitely had a negative impact on my mental health. He also has 3 kids by 3 different women. All of which I warned before hand but to no avail. I live in south carolina and there are no squatter rights here because I made my son and one of his girlfriends leave the property and they had a camper out here which only he was suppose to be living in but he had a variety of unsavory friends and girlfriends and just threw all my rules out and tried to even bully us. I had to take a stand. I hope your situation turns out okay.

 

[Nomad]

This bad law in my state kicks in at thirty days. It’s hard to believe. We’ve spoken to three attorneys and a few police officers. It doesn’t seem that there are any exceptions for mental illness. At least one attorney said no. He obviously has no lease. All
say we will obviously win in court. There is zero doubt. The main issue is how much time he will be there . These felons know this bad law and take advantage of it. He will even appeal to get more time. He does NOT need ANY reason to appeal. The laws in my state for this particular thing shockingly favor the criminals. I do nt know how or why this slipped through the cracks. We are a popular state etc. This horrible law is not well known and is grossly unfair.

I DO plan on contacting our governor and senators when this is all done. All of this is difficult to comprehend because it’s so shockingly wrong. The HOA president even called their attorney and he said after thirty days the way the law is written, the squatter has all the rights even without a lease. We w actually lose our rights. We have to have a formal eviction to remove him , which can take 7-8 weeks counting the appeal. He will appeal to get more free time in our place as he is homeless.

They have some new thing where we all meet before the hearing and I guess that is for us to have an opportunity to pay him off. It’s insane. Shockingly insane. We are the victims. He SHOULD be arrested. Because of this bad law, the police won’t touch them (it’s a couple). We’ve hired an attorney. They will get their eviction papers tomorrow.

Yes…daughter needs to be in some sort of assisted community. She is unlikely to agree to that as she doesn’t think she is sick. We have pulled away from her significantly.This is very likely permanent. I’m done. We might provide her with some basic info on group homes. Don’t know what we might do with reference to this. Things have changed significantly. We can’t and won’t trust her anymore etc. It will never be the same. We are beyond hurt. Beyond tired. I suspect you understand. It’s been truly horrible. Other than bad illnesses and deaths and this type of thing…this is the worst thing that has ever happened to us.

 

[RN0441]

Just wondering HOW they can even prove they have been there 30 days? Wouldn't they have to PROVE that for that so called "law" to protect them?

Do they get mail there etc.?

 

[Nomad]

I’m trying to get clarification. I think the process server came yesterday. And the one via certified mail comes today. I do t know what time the mail comes. I think mid afternoon.

We don’t know if they are getting personal mail there. Omg.

If they have even the slightest reason to believe the squatter, they side with them. And our daughter didn’t deny it. A long tome ago she did something like this. In that case it probably wasn’t thirty days. But the cops sided with the squatter. The criminals have total rights with this (it’s hard to believe) and even the cops are kind of afraid of them. And it’s scary that the felons know their rights snd how to abuse this law. If the squatter says it’s been thirty days they are to accept it.

We think the law originated with abusive landlords. And tenants who stop paying their rent because of slum conditions.

This isn’t the case in the least. They have zero right to be there. Our daughter’s lease forbids her to do this. The HOA rules forbids visitors overnight unless it’s like three days with the owner’s permission. We told the squatters and the police as owners we don’t want them there, we didn’t even know they were there, they have no lease, they are felons etc

The squatters AND the police said after thirty days they have a legal right to be there and we have to proceed with a formal eviction. We are not allowed to turn off the electricity or water.

I’m writing the Governor after this. I’m doing poorly again today. I’m not sure why. It’s just sickening.

 

[RN0441]

I'm so sorry.

I opened my Bible app that I try to read every day for a few minutes and it said:

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matthew 6:27

All I can say is wow. That is so true for all of us here.

 

[Nomad]

Thank you RN. I will hold onto that. My good friends came last night and brought dinner. It was very nice. And helpful.

Yet today I am worse for some unknown reason.

I needed this.

 

[Nomad]

News…more drama…not a surprise to anyone
*Process server taped eviction notice to doir yesterday
*The female squatter was heard screaming last night and the police were called. That’s all I know.
*Female squatter has hyoerdermic needles (can’t say more here). She or both are believed to be drug addicts.

It’s like a living nightmare. They have 5 days to respond to notice.

 

[Wish]

I am so sorry you are going through this. If it's any constellation at all, this happened to a few people that I knew over the years and to people that I knew through other people as well because I use to live in one of these squatter right states. It's just not just squatters that has these rights. In the state that I use to live in, all squatters, roommates, guests, whoever you let stay with you or on your property had these same exact rights too. They did not have to leave just because you told them to. More and more states are saying, and have been saying, once you allow someone to stay with you or on your property more than 3 nights as it was in the state I use to live in, it's their home now too as much as it is yours until all eviction papers go through the courts and the sheriff comes to the door to have them legally removed and unfortunately that takes way too long and most damage is done by the time you can legally get them out. I was told the reason why the law allows this craziness is because the police were growing very tired of being called all the time about having homeowners wanting the people staying with them removed from their property. I don't know if that's true, it's just what I was told. It's horrible, I don't like it, I'm just telling you what it is. The state I live in now, it's much, MUCH easier to get someone removed from your property if you don't want them to be there and no way would a squatter have a right to stay where I live. Unless you lived in a state where I use to live, a squatter right state, which applies to all squatters, roommates, guests, etc, you would never believe it how bad it is, and unfortunately Nomad is finding that out and so is everyone reading this. This is not a rare story. It happens ALL the time. All the time and you never really hear about it until it happens to you or someone you know unfortunately.

There are no words for the sympathy that I have for you and your husband Nomad. I am angry at your daughter but I hope by some miracle, someone steps up and becomes a hero in this situation to save you, your husband and your daughter from these scumbags. When I read that these lower than dirt scumbags put broken glass (among all the other vile stuff they did) in your daughter's bed, I just ....there are no words! How many people have these people physically hurt or will hurt in the future. I really, really hope that not only are they evicted, but convicted as well. There has got to be something done for the danger and destruction they are causing to your daughter and your home. Maybe the police can't legally evict them, but I'm sure as hell it's against the damn law to cause damage and danger to someone and their home. How can they ignore that?

After all this is done and over with, your daughter should be crawling on her hands and knees begging for your forgiveness and doing everything possible to get herself help. Please tell me she at least sees what this is doing to you and your husband and she feels hella guilty for it. Ugh!

 

[Nomad]

Thank you very much Wish. I found out when she did something like this once before. But we were able to negotiate with the girl. She had a relative from her home state that was willing to step in and help and bought her and her baby a plane ticket home. We only had to get a taxi, a baby car seat and give her a little food money. It was terrible ble and stressful , but I never endured the full extent of this horror as I am now. And yes, most people seem to have NO idea of this squatter law.

You said:
“After all this is done and over with, your daughter should be crawling on her hands and knees begging for your forgiveness and doing everything possible to get herself help. “

No. That’s not happening at all. Originally, we had a different plan when this was over with more help to her. When she did not show the appropriate response / remorse and wished us dead, that changed. She hasn’t even commented on the nice neighbors who are terrified. I semi understand that due to (possible) embarrassment. But it’s all sick. Especially the way she is treating us. It’s disturbing.

And I understand now that she is sicker than I ever dreamed. We have shock coming from both ends. That she is behaving this way and we are in such a bind with the condo.

They now have five days to vacate. They are to contact our attorneys office. We don’t think their cell phone is working as they tried to pay for it with the cash card they stole from daughter.

Things could really change if they don’t respond. Fingers crossed.

Otherwise we go to the next step (s) all of which creates delays snd is unfair to us.

But of course we are doing our best and will take advice of legal counsel.

They are violent with long rap sheet (s) including felony’s and it looks like one or both are drug addicts.

We have limited our support to our daughter to cell phone and some MINOR things related to medical care and forwarding disability money to a legit landlord so she has a roof over her head. We prefer to speak with her once a month. Only as absolutely necessary. We are greatly pulling back. We don’t care what she does. She usually takes her medications regularly. But she is too old and too difficult fir us to worry about any of this. If it worsens we likely will detach further. Big push and desire to speak with her only as needed…again perhaps once a month. We are in shock, tired and DONE.

 

[Wish]

After all this is done and over with, your daughter should be crawling on her hands and knees begging for your forgiveness and doing everything possible to get herself help. “

No. That’s not happening at all. Originally, we had a different plan when this was over with more help to her. When she did not show the appropriate response / remorse and wished us dead, that changed. She hasn’t even commented on the nice neighbors who are terrified. I semi understand that due to (possible) embarrassment. But it’s all sick. Especially the way she is treating us. It’s disturbing.

Then I'm sorry to say, screw her right now. She is damn grown ass enough to have empathy and sorrow for what she is putting you all through! The money, the property damage, the lawyers!

They now have five days to vacate. They are to contact our attorneys office. We don’t think their cell phone is working as they tried to pay for it with the cash card they stole from daughter.

The f***king nerve these pathetic scum bags have, they have no lows and the fact that the cops do nothing about it, absolutely sickening

Things could really change if they don’t respond. Fingers crossed.

Not sure what that means, I hope it means it's good for you and your husband.

Whatever it means, you guys can't possibly do anymore than you already have done. You all did everything you could possibly do legally. So if it were me I'd just expect the worse as far as the damages to the condo are concerned and I'd stop worrying about it, just address things as they arise and don't let them stress you out at this point to be honest because the worst already happened as far as the condo. Just start looking at the future which is what happens after they are gone because at some point, they WILL BE GONE. If you own it, you will either be looking at a big rehab job or you could sell it at as is, probably will have to take 20k less for it by my guesstimate on the damage they are doing on the home. I've seen situations like this so that's where I get my estimates from. I'm sure you already thought of all this so might as well just mentally prepare yourself and accept it now. If it were me, I'd sell it as is and be done with it.

Nomad, again, take a step back. Maybe once you pull back, you will see things start to happen. Also, you might have the HOA start stressing you out, tell them you are doing everything you can legally, provide them proof and if they fine, you they fine you, what else can you do? My point is, do NOT let them drag you down. Provide them with what you have to provide them with and then close the email and phone. Maybe this will light a fire under their a** and maybe they can do something about it too. HOA has more power than they let on. I know it's not their fault but what more can they expect you to do? They know things like this happen all the time, so they should have something prepared for when it does happen and they should help homeowners if they see homeowners doing everything possible to remedy the situation. It's not like y'all asked for this! Surely the homeowners don't want to see their place taken over by scum bags and destroyed! Again, I don't know if you own the condo or not, just saying IF you do.

Don't let daughter drag you down. Don't let lawyers drag you down. Don't let courts drag you down. Get some control and peace back for YOU and HUBBY. Address things that you only have to address and give it only the attention that is absolutely required. Eventually those pieces of sh*t will leave!

 

[Nomad]

Yes. G-d Bless you Wish and EVERYONE. You have each helped tremendously.

You said :”Don't let daughter drag you down. Don't let lawyers drag you down. Don't let courts drag you down. Get some control and peace back for YOU and HUBBY. Address things that you only have to address and give it only the attention that is absolutely required.”

This is where we are at.