Phoebe3141
New Member
My 18 yr old son went to Rehab 3 months ago. He spent 28 days & then went to Sober Living Home. He has been there the last few months & doing great. For the first time I actually saw my son, not the addict in I don't know how long. I savored every conversation. He went right from Rehab to Sober Home & I have not seen him, but see pictures of his return to a healthy person, & in our talks my son had returned. I let my guard down too soon in believing we were on the right path. He relapsed 2 wks ago & was taken to another sober home. In a room search they found drugs in his suitcase but he tested clean. He swore he wasn't using. Then on Monday the second sober home called & found paraphernalia & he left before taking a test. He admitted he relapsed, said he felt terrible & he wanted to get sober again & go forward. Sober house said he couldn't return until he tested clean. He asked if I could pay for a hotel. He was in the lobby of the hotel & I asked to talk to the desk clerk. A man came on the phone & said due to identity theft credit cards can't be taken over the phone, but my son was standing in front of him waiting to check in. So, I transferred $ to my son's account for him to pay. I look in his account & it shows a cash withdraw at an ATM! I called him back & could tell he was high. I didn't hear from him for 3 days. Worried, I called him today. He didn't sound high, but he sounded terrible. He said he got high last night but he now has no $ or drugs left & slept under a bridge last night & it is raining & he is still under the bridge. He said he felt terrible, but could I please get him a hotel until he could test clean & get back in the sober living. I told him no, he could have had a hotel but he decided to buy drugs instead after telling me he wanted to be sober. Now I don't believe he wants to be sober. He will have to make due until he can pass the test as I will not give him any $ while he is relapsing that could be used for drugs. I need to know he is clean & only then will I pay the sober home. I am falling apart. My beautiful baby is a drug addict in the rain under a bridge with no food begging for a hotel & I said no. My heart is crushed. I found out for the first time from the sober home that he is shooting the drugs. This is very serious & I absolutely cannot enable him. Every time the phone rings I fear he has OD by himself under a bridge alone, cold. He said if I leave him on the streets he will not be strong enough to not use. I told him to get off the streets he has to be strong enough to not use as that was his ticket off the street. I haven't slept or eaten & my anxiety is out of control. I am so very afraid. I am questioning my decision. Should I call until I find a hotel that will take the credit card over the phone? If I do that & make him comfortable will that keep him from reaching his bottom & wanting to stop using? How in the world am I going to get threw the next few days/nights when it is raining & cold knowing he is on the streets alone? Am I doing the right thing? I feel like I am loosing him again