Lost in sadness
Active Member
Ok, son made contact saying that if I could help him with finding a roof over his head then that’s great otherwise he is fine. Basically translated as: I need you to sort this otherwise you are no longer useful!He then said to call him at LUNCHTIME as he has no access to communication all day. This message came at 1.40am this morning!! I can see he was still up at 3am.
My reply was below, of course, I feel bad now for suggesting he too is a ‘scumbag’ but then I never used the word, he did. Is my reply ok? X
“(Name) i have no other options on housing that I haven’t already given you I’m afraid. I do not understand why you are up until 1,2,3am and then in bed until ‘lunchtime’!!?
You say you don’t want to go somewhere with ‘scumbags’. What makes you any different? I hate to point it out but those ‘scumbags’ are there because they don’t work, do drugs, treat people like sh*t and think they can do what the hell they like. In the end their parents have gone “c ya”. Sound familiar? YOU have to change.
Nothing will change whilst you lie in bed! Have you signed on?? You need to get a bus into town, (I’m sure (name) can lend you a couple of quid for bus) so at least you will get some money in. Then you can buy a pay as you go sim so you can make calls and start sorting this mess out.
I have no idea how you will sort this by just lying in bed. In the end they will throw you out (name). This is not irreparable - yet, but you need to be proactive in doing something!! I love you but I am NOT sorting this FOR you now. I will help you when you have sorted stuff. We will take you to court too if you plan on going. Rather than doing nothing start getting help for your drug use. If you don’t plan to get help and want to continue with this up and down life then you need to be applying for jobs NOT loans! You have access to a phone at times so use it wisely to apply for jobs!! Things will not just come to you or magically sort.
I love you (name) and am trying to maintain contact and some form of relationship but if you think I am going to sort all this out for you, you are very much mistaken. That is not love, that is enabling. Enabling you to continue living a sh*t life which I believe you are better than. I am in London today so cannot call but I can call tomorrow. I will not be arguing with you. YOU have to want to sort this. You are nearly 20!! 3 years!! C’mon get up and start moving! X”
My reply was below, of course, I feel bad now for suggesting he too is a ‘scumbag’ but then I never used the word, he did. Is my reply ok? X
“(Name) i have no other options on housing that I haven’t already given you I’m afraid. I do not understand why you are up until 1,2,3am and then in bed until ‘lunchtime’!!?
You say you don’t want to go somewhere with ‘scumbags’. What makes you any different? I hate to point it out but those ‘scumbags’ are there because they don’t work, do drugs, treat people like sh*t and think they can do what the hell they like. In the end their parents have gone “c ya”. Sound familiar? YOU have to change.
Nothing will change whilst you lie in bed! Have you signed on?? You need to get a bus into town, (I’m sure (name) can lend you a couple of quid for bus) so at least you will get some money in. Then you can buy a pay as you go sim so you can make calls and start sorting this mess out.
I have no idea how you will sort this by just lying in bed. In the end they will throw you out (name). This is not irreparable - yet, but you need to be proactive in doing something!! I love you but I am NOT sorting this FOR you now. I will help you when you have sorted stuff. We will take you to court too if you plan on going. Rather than doing nothing start getting help for your drug use. If you don’t plan to get help and want to continue with this up and down life then you need to be applying for jobs NOT loans! You have access to a phone at times so use it wisely to apply for jobs!! Things will not just come to you or magically sort.
I love you (name) and am trying to maintain contact and some form of relationship but if you think I am going to sort all this out for you, you are very much mistaken. That is not love, that is enabling. Enabling you to continue living a sh*t life which I believe you are better than. I am in London today so cannot call but I can call tomorrow. I will not be arguing with you. YOU have to want to sort this. You are nearly 20!! 3 years!! C’mon get up and start moving! X”