toughlovin
Well-Known Member
Hi Everyone,
So I have been thinking about various things, various threads, various ideas out there lately.
One idea out there, that clearly works in some cases, is the idea that they have to reach bottom.... and that somehow we can help them reach bottom. Well I now think they may reach bottom many times in many forms but still not get into recovery.... and really we cant help them get there. They still need to have the want for recovery themselves. I think we get fooled sometimes by this idea that if we just dont enable them, if we just dont help them, if we kick them out etc etc. then they will get into recovery and get better. To be honest that just doesnt work with everyone....The truth is we have absolutely no control over them getting into recovery or not, that comes from them.
I also think many treatment programs have an all or nothing approach..... so you need to stay sober and if you relapse then out you go, or you start over or whatever. What I Really like about the program my son is in is that they truly work with clients where they are at..... and so yes clearly for my son it would be better if he is totally sober and clean. Yet he has realapsed at least twice and they are still working with him.... and recognize that although relapsing with alcohol is not great for him by any means, it is better than shooting heroin, Not saying drinking is ok...,. But not being judgemental either.
I am learning I just need to stay out of his recovery process.....that really is his process. My role is to just keep letting him know he is loved and cared about.
My son does have a job, which he has had about a week. So far so good..... and the hours are perfect for him. So that is good news.
TL
So I have been thinking about various things, various threads, various ideas out there lately.
One idea out there, that clearly works in some cases, is the idea that they have to reach bottom.... and that somehow we can help them reach bottom. Well I now think they may reach bottom many times in many forms but still not get into recovery.... and really we cant help them get there. They still need to have the want for recovery themselves. I think we get fooled sometimes by this idea that if we just dont enable them, if we just dont help them, if we kick them out etc etc. then they will get into recovery and get better. To be honest that just doesnt work with everyone....The truth is we have absolutely no control over them getting into recovery or not, that comes from them.
I also think many treatment programs have an all or nothing approach..... so you need to stay sober and if you relapse then out you go, or you start over or whatever. What I Really like about the program my son is in is that they truly work with clients where they are at..... and so yes clearly for my son it would be better if he is totally sober and clean. Yet he has realapsed at least twice and they are still working with him.... and recognize that although relapsing with alcohol is not great for him by any means, it is better than shooting heroin, Not saying drinking is ok...,. But not being judgemental either.
I am learning I just need to stay out of his recovery process.....that really is his process. My role is to just keep letting him know he is loved and cared about.
My son does have a job, which he has had about a week. So far so good..... and the hours are perfect for him. So that is good news.
TL