Jabberwockey
Well-Known Member
The truly stupid part of this is that fully half of this town is in a flood plain.
It never rains but it pours.
- Thread starter Lil
- Start date
The truly stupid part of this is that fully half of this town is in a flood plain.
Childofmine
one day at a time
Can you put him up in a hotel for a week and tell him he needs to figure out at least a job within a certain period of time? Then go from there?
When Difficult Child got stabbed, neither my ex-husband nor I wanted him in our homes. It was sad to say, but it was the truth. We put him up in a hotel for two weeks. He rode a bike to work from the hotel with one arm in a cast and sling.
Just a thought.
When Difficult Child got stabbed, neither my ex-husband nor I wanted him in our homes. It was sad to say, but it was the truth. We put him up in a hotel for two weeks. He rode a bike to work from the hotel with one arm in a cast and sling.
Just a thought.
Lil
Well-Known Member
Well it's pretty certain...but 4 weeks is a long time when you don't have anywhere to go. The hotel would cost us twice our house payment! We can't pay that...just can't. Sure, we could put a thousand on a credit card...but we won't.
I think we're going to have to make an attempt to sit down and actually talk to him...we'll see how that goes.
Lil
Well-Known Member
No. He's afraid to try the shelter...he had the shoplifting thing and he's not sure if they ever issued a warrant. Jabber could find out, but if he did then he'd have to turn him in and that's the worst thing that could ever, ever happen. So we don't want to know. If he does though, the shelter won't take him and likely would call the police too. So he's afraid to even find out. 
We offered to let him, but not his friend come home. He won't come without his friend. But if he doesn't he'll be out on the street.
This sucks so hard.
We offered to let him, but not his friend come home. He won't come without his friend. But if he doesn't he'll be out on the street.
This sucks so hard.
AppleCori
Well-Known Member
Can the friend go back to his parent's house temporarily, until the new apartment comes through? Does the friend have anyplace to go?
Are there day labor places near you? LaborFinders is one place around here that is used to staff the local factories on a day-to-day basis. Most times when our Difficult Child went early, he got a job for the day. Minimum wage, but the two of them could make enough to fund a cheap motel.
Are there day labor places near you? LaborFinders is one place around here that is used to staff the local factories on a day-to-day basis. Most times when our Difficult Child went early, he got a job for the day. Minimum wage, but the two of them could make enough to fund a cheap motel.
Jabberwockey
Well-Known Member
His family lives about 3 hours away so not really an option.
Not according to our son. He will NOT screw his friend over and bail on him! His words. Our son seems to believe that if he does this, his friend will hate him forever. Personally, I wouldnt consider that type of a person a friend but thats me. We have decided to put them up in the not quite so sleazy Ho hotel. Just to make it more festive, its a Ho Ho Hotel. We have informed him that this will make it much more difficult when the time comes for them to move into the other apartment. Neither can get the electric turned on until they pay off past due bills.
We actually gave them the choice between the two places. The sleazier one offers two queens for $292 while the other offers one king for $300. The kicker is that the less sleazy one also offers breakfast. Pancakes, biscuits and gravy, things like that. We were pleased that he chose the second option. They both have wifi, cable, mini fridge and microwave. I've never seen the one we're putting them up in but the other is right behind a convenience store I used to work midnight shift at and the cops where there ALL the time!
Lil
Well-Known Member
And if nothing else...he tells me when he had his car wreck a couple weeks ago, the officer took his driver's license. Which means they ran his license. Which means he does not have a warrant. So...if in a week they don't have any other place to go, there's the possibility of the shelter after all. A week in the hotel is all we can do. Maybe they'll get jobs...maybe.
I'm exhausted. Jabber and I are having a glass of wine and going to bed.
I'm exhausted. Jabber and I are having a glass of wine and going to bed.
New Leaf
Well-Known Member
Oh boy it is like the continuing series of unfortunate events.
Everything crossed they turn this around and get on their feet.
I hope your sons "friend" appreciates the loyalty.
What a rough time all around. I am sorry for the frustration of it all.
Sleep well, guys, tomorrow is another day.....
(((Hugs)))
leafy
Everything crossed they turn this around and get on their feet.
I hope your sons "friend" appreciates the loyalty.
What a rough time all around. I am sorry for the frustration of it all.
Sleep well, guys, tomorrow is another day.....
(((Hugs)))
leafy
Jabberwockey
Well-Known Member
Doubtful. I believe that this man is looking for a free ride and when that ends, so does the "friendship".
Lil
Well-Known Member
Just realized our posts weren't clear. We're putting them up for ONE week. That's it. We simply won't run our credit card up any more than that. That gives them a week to figure out something else...find friends to couch-surf, Salvation Army, etc. One week out of four.
If they don't get jobs, it'll be moot anyway...they'll need either one with a full time or two with a part time to pay for a $400/mo apartment. With two, it's a piece of cake. But one person making $600 month or so can't do it.
So...at least we're settled in a bit for now.
If they don't get jobs, it'll be moot anyway...they'll need either one with a full time or two with a part time to pay for a $400/mo apartment. With two, it's a piece of cake. But one person making $600 month or so can't do it.
So...at least we're settled in a bit for now.
RN0441
100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
You are good parents. Like someone said, you have to do what you feel you can do so YOU feel okay. I'm sure we'd do the same thing.
What a mess! So sorry you had to go through all this. Good grief. I guess that's a lesson to us all that "it could always be worse".
Hopefully they will find jobs and be okay!
What a mess! So sorry you had to go through all this. Good grief. I guess that's a lesson to us all that "it could always be worse".
Hopefully they will find jobs and be okay!
Childofmine
one day at a time
Hang in there. You are making good decisions. Buying yourselves and them some time is a good thing. When we did the hotel bit, we took it one week at a time too. He was already homeless and he eventually went back to being homeless from the hotel. I drove myself nuts worrying about his arm getting infected, etc. etc., and I was a wreck (you probably remember) about what to do or not to do, but in the end we bought some hotel rooms. It was for our own peace of mind. He worked basically the whole time he was in the hotel except for the first couple of days out of the hospital, riding that bike back and forth. I did also buy some food during that time.
He survived. We survived. We were in major one day at a time mode during that period.
Hang in there and let us know if we can help you. You have a few days to get your equilibrium back I hope by this decision.
He survived. We survived. We were in major one day at a time mode during that period.
Hang in there and let us know if we can help you. You have a few days to get your equilibrium back I hope by this decision.
Lil
Well-Known Member
You know, I mentioned at my office today (while collecting boxes to gather their kitchen stuff in) that he'd been displaced by this fire and we offered to let him come home, but not his roommate. The three women who heard me both were shocked..."What? He won't leave his roommate? That's just weird! I'd be saying, 'Bye' and moving home!" One did comment, "Well, he's loyal. I guess you have to give him that."
Yeah. I guess we have to give him that.
(If Jabber agrees), I'll probably run by Aldi and get a 60 cent loaf of bread and a couple dollars worth of bologna and cheese after work. Maybe some Hot Pockets or something. They'll have a mini fridge and microwave and, if they're smart, they'll use that breakfast buffet like it was their last supper every morning and fill up to last for the day. Fingers crossed.
Yeah. I guess we have to give him that.
(If Jabber agrees), I'll probably run by Aldi and get a 60 cent loaf of bread and a couple dollars worth of bologna and cheese after work. Maybe some Hot Pockets or something. They'll have a mini fridge and microwave and, if they're smart, they'll use that breakfast buffet like it was their last supper every morning and fill up to last for the day. Fingers crossed.
Jabberwockey
Well-Known Member
Jabberwockey
Well-Known Member
Lil and I talked about this last night. He CANT let a "friend" go. He will cling desperately to them until he is forced to let go, usually due to circumstances that then make him hate them. Not sure how much loyalty comes into play here. He does this, I think, to keep someone around for as long as possible who will validate his choices.
It makes no sense to me. If this had happened to me and my best friend, he would have understood. There would have been no threats, no hatred towards me (or him if circumstances were reversed) because a family that had no clue who I was wouldn't take me in. Then again, I've never given my parents reason not to trust me or my friends.
