Hi Out There,
You have written my life story 6 times over, My brother, my brother -in-law & now my 36 yr. old daughter "R". My son died at birth a gynaecologists mistake he would have been 38 yrs. A week later my father committed suicide he was terminal. With my adoring, loving, caring, cant live without me 34 yr. old other daughter "D", I have had the drug, alcohol, syndrome. I wonder how much one can take in one life time. No one has been raped, murdered, or jailed, something to be grateful for.
On the positive side my 36 yr old daughter "R" who is beautiful, funny, has an infectious personality everyone loves her, she is very thoughtful brings me unexpected gifts, phones me, Skye's me, has just put money into my account when she knows I am broke. Has just graduated with a Science Honours Degree in Zoology & Sustainably from the Cook University in Cairns. I / we are super proud of her. During her studied she found, what was thought to be an extinct bird, some where near Melbourne, & has be asked to do a conference down there.
Daughter no2 "D" has turned her life around, got rid of the psychopathic partner of 12 yrs who destroyed her, 2 yrs ago. Now she has been home again for 2 yrs. Happy , Prospering, back with her old friends from school days, they all call me mum a bit like an extended family, she is a different person.
She is now half way through a Criminology & Law Degree. So proud of her too, she gets good marks & loves it.
She is beautiful, smart, funny, loves people, very very good to me. we are so close more like friends than mother & daughter, yes we fight, but are over it by the time we turn around. She tells me everything in great detail, some times I say, I'm your mother do I really need to know that. haha
My brother, Hasn't spoken to any of the family in 3yrs. Since my mother died 3yrs ago at age 90 yrs. She was in a nursing home. He through a tantrum over her possessions, while she was still in her bed, then refused to help us with the arrangements, & refused to go to her funeral. He did turn up to the funeral with his evil, nasty, trouble making wife. She had not seen or spoken to my mum in 15 yrs. For no reason that we know of. We the rest of the family where horrified at her presence. My sister phoned him the next day & told him his fortune. I stayed in contact with him until the settlement went through. We had arranged to do mums ashes the day of settlement, as he lived in NWS, & my sister on the Sunshine Coast. He did not turn up as arranged, the solicitor informed us he had made a special trip up the day before to sign for his money.
We have not seen or heard from him since. "Grab the MONY & Run"
My dear old mum was very smart, she wrote a list in her own had writing, on a note pad that she would write reminders on to ask me to do or shopping etc.
The list was who was to get what when she was gone. we thought she had a book that's what my dear brother was looking for but could not find.
OH! buy the way I Loved my mother dearly she was my best friend & confidante
I lived 5 mins away, saw her every week, called her, I was at her beck & call 24/7 for 4 1/2 yrs. I was the only one here to help her with anything she needed. doctors, Dentist, any other appointments, her finances etc.
That brings me to my brother in-law, we have never had a good relationship, he has this thing, woman who don't have a husband don't have a brain either. I have been divorced 29 yrs, still single, built a beautiful home, & raised 2 kids 3 & 5 at the time by my self with the help of my mother, & also worked. He had a lot of resent toward me. Well you know what's coming now. He questioned my honesty in looking after mums finance's. Which didn't go down very well at all. I said to my sister, all the paper work is in the file up there, knock your self out.
My purpose in this long history does have a purpose & a Goal.
My darling Mother always said I have 3 children I love, have always treated equally, & expect to have my family around in my last years. My bother let her done badly when she went into the home. My sister was marvellous, & was a great strength to me. MY mum would have been horrified, beyond consoling, if she knew what my brother has done. What would you do ?? would my mother have disinherited him. ?? Probably not should my sister & I have Contested the will ?? BOTTOM LINE Mums will was what SHE WANTED. & what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. Her possessions were distributed to the latter. I think there is a KARMA in there some where.
Let me tell you in no uncertain terms, INLAWS can make or BREAK a FAMILY.
Don't ever feel guilty for the choses your kids make with there partners. It can be cruel, devastating, especially when they turn there back on the ones who love & care about them.
Conclusion, He does not DESERVE to be in your will, He hasn't earnt the right, He hasn't contributed to your well being, He has NO CONISERATION for your Feeling or love for him. DISINHERIT HIM with no guilt.
Which brings me to my dilemma. Which has brought me to this site. WHAT SORT OF PERSON AM I.
On a skype call with "R" she was devastated with her break up with her fiancé of 4yrs Amanda, she confessed all her sins, during their relationship. She involved "D" & me in a scandalise unforgivable Lie, that was devastating to us.
''R '' believed her because Amanda had truthfully confessed. When I challenged her about the lie, she shut me down on skype. Phoned me back immediately, & said, do not contact me ever again. That was 10 months ago. I let some weeks go by & did try to contact her many times but she does not respond to any thing. Her father has just been up to see her in Cairns, he told me she had an email she wrote to me but would not send it, with gentle persuasion on his part she did send it to me got it last Saturday night.
The first 2 lines put me into a rage of anger, my blood pressure went of the ricketier scale & I had a chronic anxiety attack. Apparently I am a narcissistic mother, & the sisters are narcissistic siblings. She sent the links to these pages. Which I have researched, & found this page to disinherit you adult child.
I don't think I would feel the same way about her again. I know it is early days, but I have learnt from my history, not to make the same mistakes again. She has told me she doesn't want my beautiful home, & "D" wont amount to anything to buy her out. "D" loves her home, & doesn't wont it sold.
Go figure these kids of today. I would have no hesitation in disinheriting her at this point. What would you do ???
