Lil and Jabber,
Sounds great. It gives him all the autonomy in the world, with protections, should he choose to avail himself of them.
I see Lil and Jabber as doing exactly the things that will propel their son towards these ends: productivity, self-control and responsibility. He chooses how he does it, but he does not choose whether or not he can.
Until Lil and Jabber are certain there is no mental health component to their son's behavior they cannot, if they hope to hold faith with themselves in future, turn their son into the street.
Well, this is what I did. I turned out my son who had mental health issues, into the street.
He would not do anything here in my home. Not seek mental health treatment. Not work or go to school. He was hostile, morose and stuck.
Looking back, I had unrealistic expectations. I listened to M and others, that if he had to fall back on his own resources he would be motivated to work. This was not to be the case.
He found places to stay without conditions, and got SSI. Eventually, when the soft spots to land, dried up, he became homeless.
For years, his attitudes towards us remained negative, hostile and dominating. The more ground he lost in his life, the more he tried to make us responsible.
Until he changed. He is still mentally ill but he is going to therapy, has cut down radically if not completely the marijuana and is trying to do the same with caffeine pills. to which he now sees and admits he has an addiction. He works every day (with M), conforms to expectations, and is learning some job skills. He is living with us and more and more is trying to keep things clean, and help out financially. His attitude is worlds different.
Actually, I see no other way that things could have unfolded other than they did.
Until a mentally ill person is willing to seek treatment, curtail their aggressive behavior and to be productive, I do not see a place for them within their family or near them.
