THIS is what I put up with:
Son: If you wonder why the dogs are licking the floor so much it's because I just made the parmesan cheese explode!!!
Me: <laughing> Okay.
Son: IT'S NOT FUNNY! I was just trying to f-ing fix something to eat!
Me: Okay. It's really not that big of a deal. How did you make it explode?
Son: I shook it up and the lid came off and it went f-ing everywhere!
Me: Okay. Why are you even calling me to curse and complain. People spill things. It happens.
Son: I don't. I never make big messes.
Me: Well good for you. I make messes all the time. You clean it up and go on about your day.
Son: I'm sorry I called you at all! I just wanted to eat something. I'm in a bad mood.
Me: You've been in a bad mood since you came home.
Son: I've been in a bad mood since the fire! That's why I'm going to counseling to try to get out of it. Where's the broom?
Me: Linen cupboard. If you don't get it all it's not a big deal. The dogs will eat it. It's just cheese.
Son: Fine. Bye.